TalkFeederToMe:
This is probably just weird vent stuff, but I genuinely don't know what to do?
I have been really finding that I'm only really happy when I'm either spending time with loved ones/friends or when I'm gaining weight.
The biggest problem being that I was genuinely starved for most, if not all, of my early life. So even getting to a "healthy weight" for my height did a lot of damage to my body.
I've tried to ignore or get away from fat stuff pertaining to me, but I genuinely can't. My partner was willing to try feeding me, but we both got uncomfortable and realized we couldn't really do that for each other. Like, I came to this realization that I don't really want to be treated as a person? I want to be a thing that exists to gain weight for amusement.
But doing so, there's not really a balance between that and maintaining a life outside of it.
And it's not even necessarily a sexual thing, it's just how my brain has wired me to live like. Like, I'm not worth anything unless someone is using me.
Idk, I'll probably delete this since it does seem more of "wow, that weirdo has issues," and yeah, I do. It's just that no one knows me, including me, and I needed to vent it somewhere that made me think at least someone cared.
This is probably just weird vent stuff, but I genuinely don't know what to do?
I have been really finding that I'm only really happy when I'm either spending time with loved ones/friends or when I'm gaining weight.
The biggest problem being that I was genuinely starved for most, if not all, of my early life. So even getting to a "healthy weight" for my height did a lot of damage to my body.
I've tried to ignore or get away from fat stuff pertaining to me, but I genuinely can't. My partner was willing to try feeding me, but we both got uncomfortable and realized we couldn't really do that for each other. Like, I came to this realization that I don't really want to be treated as a person? I want to be a thing that exists to gain weight for amusement.
But doing so, there's not really a balance between that and maintaining a life outside of it.
And it's not even necessarily a sexual thing, it's just how my brain has wired me to live like. Like, I'm not worth anything unless someone is using me.
Idk, I'll probably delete this since it does seem more of "wow, that weirdo has issues," and yeah, I do. It's just that no one knows me, including me, and I needed to vent it somewhere that made me think at least someone cared.
Sometimes it’s ok to vent but if you’re able to talk to a therapist it would be actually helpful. I don’t think anyone here is qualified to offer much more specific advice.
6 months