General

Regretting the gains

Maybe I’m just skewed because I’m a 400+ pounder that makes more sense
6 months

Regretting the gains

Morbidly A Beast:
It seems like everyone gets to goals and they just seem to blow past em like I get it be careful don’t go to crazy… I just don’t understand from my perspective at least I will be fat and always will be fat now I don’t know how you can come to regret gaining weight did you regret eating all the food that got you to this weight?

I have no experience with gay feeders at all let alone straight female ones but to me it’s like what came first chicken or the egg situations if this post didn’t make sense sorry

FatFalcon:
I’m actually wanting to gain. The problem is though is that I get discouraged. Here’s some examples.

1. My goal is 300-350lbs weight wise. I’m in the middle weight wise as skinny fat. Having a partner would make up for that

2. I’m not big enough or muscular or fat enough.

3. I’m in the middle of eating and I get a message from a guy on Grommr that constantly annoyed me most of the time and it got so bad that I just stopped talking to him altogether because he was ranting about ice cream throughout the entire conversation while I’m eating snack cakes. Especially Little Debbie snack cakes.


Like seriously it’s really off putting when trying to eat and someone is trying too push you to buy ice cream. I would buy some the next time I go to the store.


Then the rant was over scales because I haven’t weighed myself yet. I explained that I don’t have scales yet to weigh myself and he was ranting about that. And the last time I weighed myself was in February of this year I was 190lbs

So I’m thinking about gaining and seeing how much weight I am pushing for. I may have to go it alone.


Lemme guess. While he was pushing you to get ice cream, he expected you to buy it on your own dime too.

I understand that there's a whole debate on whether or not a feeder should pay, but I believe that if a feeder is making a specific food request that the feedee doesn't have, then they should be willing to foot the bill.

I know I do it when I want my partner to eat something specific.

That aside, don't be afraid to block people who don't respect your boundaries. Your mental health will thank you for it. This guy sounds controlling. There's a difference between being a dom and being a manipulative, controlling ass. Sounds like Grommer guy is the second one.
6 months

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
Most guys also want me past my intended weight goal of 300-350lbs which I am not going to put myself through that. One guy wanted me to get to 500lbs. I can’t do that without risking my health. Too extreme if you ask me.


I understand. I'm an extreme feeder that got my partner up to 500 lbs. This was a mutually agreed upon decision. As sexy as it was, it also came with a host of health complications.

Some people are perfectly happy at 500+ lbs, but it's not for most people Most feedist tend to cap out around 300 - 350 lbs anyway.
6 months

Regretting the gains

I just don’t put much stock in other people when it comes to this stuff other people are flakey skiddish maybe just in the realm of fantasy but for the real people actually getting fat or are fat it’s a completely different world we gotta exist in and it’s simply not worth basing your worth or validation on them. A feeder may or may not exist in your future and that has to be something you grapple with.
6 months

Regretting the gains

Morbidly A Beast:
I just don’t put much stock in other people when it comes to this stuff other people are flakey skiddish maybe just in the realm of fantasy but for the real people actually getting fat or are fat it’s a completely different world we gotta exist in and it’s simply not worth basing your worth or validation on them. A feeder may or may not exist in your future and that has to be something you grapple with.


I understand. But I suppose that's the difference between being a gainer and being a feedee.
6 months

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
Honestly I’m thinking about taking a break from gaining. Too many guys pushing my weight for me beyond what my goal weight is. Encouragers aren’t helping much either. It’s frustrating when you have an idea body that you want and someone else makes you feel like you should double your weight for their pleasure.

If I had a serious relationship with a guy who was supportive of my gaining without being discouraged. like I want someone who is into mutual gaining. Not me just doing the gaining myself.


Hey, man. You gotta do what's best for you. If you think that taking a break from gaining is best for you, then you hardly need our blessing to do it.

And yeah. It's really hard to find decent feeders. A lot of them feel entitled to people's bodies.
5 months

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
Thanks. It’s a real struggle to talk to guys online when they are supposed to *encourage me to gain*.


The biggest issue that I have is the fact that I am finally 200lbs gaining wise and then be disheartened when I feel like I’m gaining for nothing. The so called *encouragers* Aren’t motivating me at all.


I can imagine. Even though I am strictly an FA and feeder, I still get messages from male feeders and encouragers trying to convince me to eat for them.

Let's just say I have no idea how feedees and gainers haven't completely gone insane.
5 months

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
Honestly I’m thinking about taking a break from gaining. Too many guys pushing my weight for me beyond what my goal weight is. Encouragers aren’t helping much either. It’s frustrating when you have an idea body that you want and someone else makes you feel like you should double your weight for their pleasure.

If I had a serious relationship with a guy who was supportive of my gaining without being discouraged. like I want someone who is into mutual gaining. Not me just doing the gaining myself.

Munchies:
Hey, man. You gotta do what's best for you. If you think that taking a break from gaining is best for you, then you hardly need our blessing to do it.

And yeah. It's really hard to find decent feeders. A lot of them feel entitled to people's bodies.


This is such an important reminder. Any creator, feedee, or gainer who posts content - and even engages with you - does not give their audience ownership via support. The assumption that any creator "owes" their audience anything other than gratitude (unless as arranged via a business transaction) is such a projected falsehood on the part of the viewer.

I get serious ick from any feedism fans who "demand" new content and expect replies.
5 months

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
I quit Grommr. It’s not worth the effort and energy when it comes to finding a partner. Gaining on your own sucks the life out of you.


Agree to disagree about gaining on your own sucking the life out of you.

I am an ex-gainer. I gained 50 lbs by myself. Went from 115 to 168 before stopping.

I am happy I did it alone. I never wanted someone's help because I didn't want to be under anyone else's authority. I was already underweight due to my mother insisting 115 was a good weight (and sometimes insisting I could stand to lose more.)

So while I understand that solo gaining isn't right for you, it can be the right choice for other people.
5 months

Regretting the gains

FatFalcon:
I quit Grommr. It’s not worth the effort and energy when it comes to finding a partner. Gaining on your own sucks the life out of you.


Yeah I find that rather insulting sorry it doesn’t work for but I’ve gained 160 lbs all on my own and I’m happier than a pig in mud
5 months
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