General

Having a "blank" or "undecided" option could be useful.

It's very interesting to see how terminology has changed over time. For example, the terms "feeder" and "feedee" used to be extremely heterosexual. In fact, the LGBTQIA+ community developed the terms "gainer" and "encourager" as equivalent terms.

Later, as the feedist community grew more inclusive, the terms "gainer" and "encourager" took on new meanings. Some people still use the original definitions, but now most take them as their own things. Now, a gainer is someone who wants to get fat but doesn't want to be fed. And an encourager is basically a cheerleader.

also the term "feederism" seems widespread, but i agree with the folks that say "feedism" is more accurate. it reflects that the feedist community is not limited to the feeder's perspective, or is not necessarily feeder-centric. it includes all of those other roles and perspectives, too.

Just before I started this thread, I had sent a respectful message to someone telling them that they might have better luck finding a feeder if they changed their profile to state that they were a feedee as the text of their profile clearly indicated that's what they were. And as I proceeded through my search results, I found another profile with the same issue.

I agree that there should be an option for undecided (or maybe "curious" ) and I believe that should be the default. Or maybe instead of a single selection, use check boxes because some people will be into more than one fetish. That's a design issue beyond my control.

But for those who are are looking to connect with others having a complementary fetish, you're not going to get the results you want if you mislabel yourself.

In addition to that, it would be good to put some description of yourself beyond just the basics. I have seen profiles here and elsewhere with the person explicitly saying that they don't want generic responses and not revealing anything else about themselves that could be used to open a conversation.

Maybe it is laziness. If that is the case, you should expect to get responses in kind and proportion to your efforts. That's how the universe works.

Personally, I wouldn't go out of my way to message people unprompted about that.

That's courting trouble.

Cool. You do you.

My aim here and elsewhere is to make a positive contribution.

Okie doke. I'm just saying I've seen this go down before more than once.

Never ended well.

Be safe on these streets because these streets ain't safe.