General

Hey guys,

I am after a little advice, please, but first the background:

My grandmother is in her 90s and has dementia. Some days are better than others, but she needs 24 hour care. The family take it in turns to stay with her so she can be in her own home as long as she can.
She also has carers who go in to help with meals etc.

On Monday and Wednesday, I stay with her for the day and the carer makes dinner for us both.

OK - Here is the relevant bit...

I noticed a few weeks ago that this carer (male) makes me large dinners. I didn't think a lot about it at first, but the meals have definitely been increasing in size over the last few weeks.

Last week, he actually gave me a full Aunt Bessie Roly Poly pudding (300g) in custard. This was in one sitting and the dessert has about 60g of sugar and 22g of fat.

Today, he really went for it and the dinner he made me was so large it was on two plates. Turkey, lots of potatoes, 6 large buttered buns and salad. He also gave me weird "reverse psychology" encouragement saying thing like "If you can't manage it all, just leave what defeated you."

Afterwards, he asked if I wanted cake and ice cream, but I refused.

Now, I am not sure if he is a feeder or if he is thinking that this is some sort of crazy way that he proves he is doing his job. I don't want to ask him outright in case he is not a feeder and it opens a whole can of worms about my Grandmother's care.

I have spoken to some of you on messenger, and I have put a few other comments on the message board, but for those I have not spoken to before, let me clarify my position.

I would love to be an IRL feedee, fattened by a ruthless feeder, but I don't want to just "get fat" I want to be controlled.

So if this guy comes up to me and says he just likes to feed people, it probably would not interest me, but imagine this:

We are in the kitchen, he walks up to me, pokes my belly and says "I've put a lot of work into stretching this."

"What do you mean?" I ask

"I have been giving you increasingly large meals to see how much you could eat. Now I know, I am going to start fattening you up."

I would love that. He would take measurements every week and then give me the large meals. And instead of asking if I want cake and ice cream, he will just give me it and expect me to eat it. I would happily do that.

Does that make sense?

Anyway, the point of my post (finally!) is to ask if anybody could suggest a way I can approach this? Without getting welfare or social services overly involved in my Grandmother's care.

Thanks.

Honestly, it's giving "food is my love language." Your 90 year old grandma has dementia and his declining. You two are clesrly close since you visit her a lot. It's more likely that he's feelding you to comfort you.

Mayhaps. However, feeder or not, most professional caretakers don't hit on their client's family. Super unprofessional and liable to get very messy.

Thank you for your responses. I have left it a few weeks to see what happens and now I have an update.

First though, please allow me to respond to some of the points you made.

I would like to make it clear that the carer has been in no way unprofessional. I don't think he is looking for a relationship, and he has done nothing to indicate that he is. Apart from the strange comments he makes when he is preparing meals (this is the update) I have very little contact with him beyond discussing any issues with my grandmother.

I am quite shy. I certainly do not feel comfortable making feeder related jokes about the food; we just do not have a relationship on that sort of level.

I may be looking for something that is not there. I have made no secret on my profile and on this site that I want to be fattened, s maybe you are right; he is just doing his job and I am using it to fulfil my own fantasy on some level. I can fully understand that point of view. I do wonder - is it possible to be a feeder and not know? Like you get a dopamine hit from seeing somebody eat, so you give them food, but it is not really at the fetish level, so you do not realise that you are getting a buzz.

OK - So here is the update.

Today, I was with my grandmother. Friday is not my normal day, but my daughter had an appointment on Wed, so I had to swap days around. The carer was on shift this dinner time.

He made another huge dinner for me. He gave me a 4 serving pie all to myself with mashed potatoes and gravy. He also did a second pie - two serving - which he shared between himself and my grandmother with a normal portion of mash. Mine was literally piled all around the sides. In fact, I took a picture, but it is rubbish. I am the world's worst photographer, but I will upload it.


[img]https://fantasyfeeder.com/pics/photo?id=1021751&userId=95078[/img]

When he gave me my dinner and I saw the difference in sizes between mine and his, he said, "You should not eat this much pie. It has a lot of calories and cholesterol, but I know you can manage it."

Now, as I said, I want to be fattened IRL, so I decided after my last post to just go with it and see what happens. It was a struggle, but I did finish the meal, and to be honest, I felt quite ill for a good few hours afterwards. In fact, I have only just eaten again now, about 12 hours later. I could not face anything before that!

When I was almost finished, he looked and said, "I am impressed. I thought I had given you too much. I really didn't think you would be able to eat all of it!"

Also, I weighed myself again recently and I need to update my profile. I am actually 212 lb now. That is up over 20 lb since Xmas and I have got a noticeable belly, even when I lay down now. In fact my grandmother told me that my stomach looked bloated last week!