Enas:
Also i once talked with FFH (feemalefeederheaven) about gender roles and feedism roles (basically the same discussion, more or less, that we have here) and the conclusion we both arrived to is that traditional gender roles play, possibly, the biggest role in the (usually unconcious) decision to be a feeder or a feedee. That is an explenation to why such a large portion of women enter this fetish as feedees (rather than some more random / equal distribution). About Men, i think that it is a little more complicated. At least in my experience, the number of male feeders does not appear to be significantly larger (double or tripple) the number of male feedees. Also i see in a lot of cases (such as mine! ^_^) that men that have been feeders end up as feedees! That does not appear, to me, to be common in women. Instead i see that the oposite happens! Feedee women often turn into feeders!
I think the above is largely because of the gender stereotypes being unconciously broken / liquidated by the fetish! If thats true, then its an extremely interesting thing!
What do you all think?
Female feeders are not rare. It's just that most are offline due to the hostility many face for being female feeders. I've discussed this matter at length many times before, so I won't rehash it.
Gender roles do play a part in things, but not in the way you're thinking. It's more complex. Kink spaces both affirm and reject traditional gender roles. Mind you, this is separate from gender presentation and sexuality.
Kink is all about the unusual and taboo. So, there are a lot of people who delve into non-traditional gender roles. However, many people (sometimes the same people) feel guilty for embracing the unusual and taboo. As such, they cope by leaning into traditionalism or as close as they can get within kink space.
This is why there's a hierarchy of acceptable feedist combinations in feedist spaces. These are the ways the community as a whole accepts certain intersections of gender and kink. From most accepted to least, it's male feeders, male encouragers, male FAs, male mutual gainers, male gainers, male feedees, female feedees, female gainers, female mutual gainers, female FAs, female encouragers, and female feeders.
Please note that I am strictly speaking from a vanilla heteronormative point of view. Things get more complex when you include LGBTQIA+ dynamics and power dynamics.
You'll notice that there's a bit of a gradient. The more masculine and active a person is perceived to be, the more the community welcomes them. Passive male roles are not as embraced but are more accepted than passive female roles. Meanwhile, the more active the female role becomes, the less accepted it is.
What do I mean by this? The closer you are to being a male "provider," the more the community accepts you. You are still welcome if you don't fit that role but won't be as pursued. As for women, the more open you are to changing your body for another's pleasure, the more accepted you'll be. Of course, people will bash you anyway, but you'll be more accepted than your other counterparts. In fact, the community will spend considerable time pushing non-feedee women into being feedees. This usually ends with women leaving the online community forever.
