General

How to deal with negativity

Morbidly A Beast:
being ridiculed for being fat is just a shitty behavior, it doesn’t mean the person doing so has reactionary politics, it’s probably more likely as reactionaries tend to be more bigoted (it’s there disagreeableness personality trait) but I have seen a lot of fatphobia hurled by self described progressives about xyz people it’s just a shitty way to communicate.

I feel like just being a good person matters more than what politics one believes, unless your politics actively harm another group,


I was not talking about political beliefs at all here! I was talking more in how people live their every day lives. I remember i had seen the phrase but i cant recall where, "People dont live their lives, theyre just reacting to them". Which means every day Behavior is not the result of a logical thought process but instead is the result of people reacting instantly without thinking at all, so the quality of the behavior will corespond to that.

Reactionaries are people who do that in their political lives too, instead of only in their every day ones.
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How to deal with negativity

Enas:
I was not talking about political beliefs at all here! I was talking more in how people live their every day lives. I remember i had seen the phrase but i cant recall where, "People dont live their lives, theyre just reacting to them". Which means every day Behavior is not the result of a logical thought process but instead is the result of people reacting instantly without thinking at all, so the quality of the behavior will corespond to that.

Reactionaries are people who do that in their political lives too, instead of only in their every day ones.


I don’t think that is correct I believe human beings are capable of discerning their actions and are morally culpable for their actions, it’s not just reaction to stimuli

Head asses like the ones who critiqued our friend here after gaining a few lbs saw that they had gained weight and wanted to tease them thinking they might be motivated to lose weight cause they care about them, presumably, but this is wrong headed. And should be called out as it, bullying.
1 week

How to deal with negativity

Enas:
I was not talking about political beliefs at all here! I was talking more in how people live their every day lives. I remember i had seen the phrase but i cant recall where, "People dont live their lives, theyre just reacting to them". Which means every day Behavior is not the result of a logical thought process but instead is the result of people reacting instantly without thinking at all, so the quality of the behavior will corespond to that.

Reactionaries are people who do that in their political lives too, instead of only in their every day ones.

Morbidly A Beast:
I don’t think that is correct I believe human beings are capable of discerning their actions and are morally culpable for their actions, it’s not just reaction to stimuli

Head asses like the ones who critiqued our friend here after gaining a few lbs saw that they had gained weight and wanted to tease them thinking they might be motivated to lose weight cause they care about them, presumably, but this is wrong headed. And should be called out as it, bullying.


Well, you might believe that but what do you actually know that can support it?

On the other hand, i know that at least there is a pretty good argument suporting the position that ordinary people are Evil: ?si=zVG8EjTJ95-i9Gaa

Furthermore, to answer to your i see all the time that people are delusional, they are not aware of the actual reality. They prefer to believe happy lies than, at least attempt to confront their material situation. They make excuses, they get defensive when they know they cant form a good argument. They fully accept the passive ideology that society pushes onto them.

To put it bluntly, most people are pure shit.

Its, unfortunately, right as Marx put it. On one pole there is the acumulation of wealth. And on the other pole there is the acumulation of mysery and mental degredation.

People can learn to have the qualities you mentioned, of course! But... where do you see them being practiced?

And by the way, calling people out, in situations like this does have an immediate positive outcome, but it also has a negative one. And its that it does not actually solve the problems, but its seen as something that does! So the actual problems (that generate bigotry, in general) remain mostly unnoticed!

Its not enough to reduce fatphobes to head asses,because they are the result of far larger underlying problems.
1 week

How to deal with negativity

Shadowmike:
Do the work mentally. This whole site and fetish is chock full of horrible people and it sucks. Everyone has walls and goals and it just makes no sense. There are thousands of feedees and not enough feeders etc to keep up anymore. It's a rotten situation no one wants to talk about.


Uuh.. Walls, goals, no sense? What do you mean?
1 week

How to deal with negativity

Enas:
I was not talking about political beliefs at all here! I was talking more in how people live their every day lives. I remember i had seen the phrase but i cant recall where, "People dont live their lives, theyre just reacting to them". Which means every day Behavior is not the result of a logical thought process but instead is the result of people reacting instantly without thinking at all, so the quality of the behavior will corespond to that.

Reactionaries are people who do that in their political lives too, instead of only in their every day ones.

Morbidly A Beast:
I don’t think that is correct I believe human beings are capable of discerning their actions and are morally culpable for their actions, it’s not just reaction to stimuli

Head asses like the ones who critiqued our friend here after gaining a few lbs saw that they had gained weight and wanted to tease them thinking they might be motivated to lose weight cause they care about them, presumably, but this is wrong headed. And should be called out as it, bullying.

Enas:
Well, you might believe that but what do you actually know that can support it?

On the other hand, i know that at least there is a pretty good argument suporting the position that ordinary people are Evil: ?si=zVG8EjTJ95-i9Gaa

Furthermore, to answer to your i see all the time that people are delusional, they are not aware of the actual reality. They prefer to believe happy lies than, at least attempt to confront their material situation. They make excuses, they get defensive when they know they cant form a good argument. They fully accept the passive ideology that society pushes onto them.

To put it bluntly, most people are pure shit.

Its, unfortunately, right as Marx put it. On one pole there is the acumulation of wealth. And on the other pole there is the acumulation of mysery and mental degredation.

People can learn to have the qualities you mentioned, of course! But... where do you see them being practiced?

And by the way, calling people out, in situations like this does have an immediate positive outcome, but it also has a negative one. And its that it does not actually solve the problems, but its seen as something that does! So the actual problems (that generate bigotry, in general) remain mostly unnoticed!

Its not enough to reduce fatphobes to head asses,because they are the result of far larger underlying problems.


You made a wild jump.

I just said that people are conscious actors, and are able to discern actions. You jumped to some very odd view that all people are evil and people aren’t conscious actors that points to your very totalitarian Marxist view

The individual and the collective are not in a dialectical tension that is the error of capitalism and communism.
1 week

How to deal with negativity

Does chairness remove the value of a chair? Does chairness impose chairness on a chair? No. A chair is one of many chairs which make of chairness
1 week

How to deal with negativity

Sweetannaxxl:
Took a small break from doing anything, and visiting the site due to some criticism from outside sources. It really took a toll on me and made me feel negatively about myself. I have gained a substantial amount of weight in a relatively small timeframe and must have come as a shock to my peers, which prompted some discomfort in conversation. My question i guess is how do I deal with this? I have no genuine interest in losing the weight, I know it won’t make me happy, but being ridiculed for my size is ridiculous. Does anyone have any good tips for shrugging it off?

Munchies:
So, I want to add a little bit of nuance to this conversation.

If you are getting very fat very quickly, it's normal to be concerned. Sudden rapid weight gain is usually not a good sign of things. Usually, people think severe depression or illness. It may be good to reassess how fast you're gaining as rapid gains are not sustainable and can lead to later weight loss.



No amount of concern excuses any kind of body shaming or bullying. Since these are your friends, be honest with them. Tell them how you feel about what they are saying and doing. If they are really your friends, they will respect this. If not, then these are not people you need in your life.

Morbidly A Beast:
This is the correct take. Its times like this i wish i could react to a forum post without typing out a message

Enas:
I have made a suggestion to the site owner that kind of includes that (altho not for its own sake)

Munchie's take is not sufficient. Everyone else's takes are not even serious.

Neoliberal individualism leads in a toxic atomization where its not appropriate to care for other people's businesses.

Also, very few people are actually capable of that in the first place. Most are acting in a reactionary manner.


Jesus, what the fuck?

Enas

Sweetie

No

Stop

Pull your head out of the politics, because you are wildly off base.

This has nothing to so with politics. If anything, this is apolitical. This is about healthy communication and boundaries. If you can't wrap your head around that, I don't know what to tell you.

Also, how can you say people are not taking this seriously? Everyone in this thread is whether or not you like their response. Now, if you can't stop making this all about you instead of helping OP, then you are going to get this thred locked. And that will make OP less likely to reach out for help.

Now knock it off.
1 week

How to deal with negativity

Shadowmike:
Do the work mentally. This whole site and fetish is chock full of horrible people and it sucks. Everyone has walls and goals and it just makes no sense. There are thousands of feedees and not enough feeders etc to keep up anymore. It's a rotten situation no one wants to talk about.


A bit pessimentic of a take, but you have a point about doing the work mentally.

The world's a better place when you don't let other's judgement of you stand in the way of you thriving.
1 week

How to deal with negativity

Morbidly A Beast:
You made a wild jump.

I just said that people are conscious actors, and are able to discern actions. You jumped to some very odd view that all people are evil and people aren’t conscious actors that points to your very totalitarian Marxist view

The individual and the collective are not in a dialectical tension that is the error of capitalism and communism.[/quote]

People are aware to an extremely limiting degree about the world around them. For example, most people in the western world think they live in a democracy. This is false, there is no seblence of democracy in the level of state organization in the world. Or at least i havent managed to identify one.

If people are delusional about something so importand how are they gonna be aware enough to be able to see through things in their day to day lives, when they will have even less time per-thing to analyze?

There are 2 questions that illustrate my point.

What do you think bigotry is?

And how is it so common for people to feel, almost automatically, negativity when they experience it?
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How to deal with negativity

By the way, dont get me wrong! Im not saying that people are evil, and so they dont deserve care. First of all im the first person who would completely disregard the concept of justice, as it is usually applied here. (That people deserve or not, because of X, Y or Z).

I dont care about what people deserve, and i think its a toxic concept. I care for what people need, in terms of what will make them think in a way that will allow them to flourish as human beings. We are capable of rewiring our brains to think logically. Its not something that requires fancy equipment, but simply practice!
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