General

Well it's complicated. Feedism is a fetish/kink, lifestyle, source of income, a fantasy, and more. It's quite subjective. Some people don't really want to express it as a component of a relationship, or in the case of those that view it as an occupation have no obligation to have a personal relationship with a feeder. Others are unaware fetishes and kinks can easily be incorporated into an otherwise conventional relationship (monogamous or non). The exposes of the community on social media sites (leading to scammers/charlatans), and the proliferation of lucrative sex work has really changed the paradigm. The average feedee in many cases isn't really looking for anything long-term.

I've only ever dated one feedee that I met on Feabie about seven years ago. She was near her goal weight so it was basically just being an FA with more steps. Outside of that I've had horrible experiences. Honestly my main gripe is the lack of honesty more than the lack of people looking for a LTR.

I echo some of the comments about the possibility of dating outside, or adjacent to the community. Then letting them know when it's appropriate. Obviously the more mutual the better. Depending on how important it is to you and your goals (if applicable) there may be ways to meet in the middle. Like I'm currently talking to someone who I may be meeting soon. She is not a feedee, but is really into her curves. After some conversations she eventually became receptive and wants to gain to become curvier. So we basically found a way to meet in the middle. I never tried to force her into it. I just told her that was what I was into.

Hope things gets better. I know it's tough out there.

I would never be tempted to become a feedee or a gainer. The eating part has absolutely no interest to me. It’s the control aspect of it, having control over someone who has let herself go to the point she’s so massive she can’t lead a normal life

Well that's concerning.

I doubt thats how it works. Speaking about me, i considered myself a feeder. It was (and still is somewhat) a big turn on to see really fat women's bellies so i was definetely one! But nontheless i kind of remember myself when i was even younger that i didnt care much about women but rather myself! I would stuff my bkanket in my clothes at night for example, but that was very early on! I dont know what made me turn into a feedee but during that period i never cared about getting fat myself! I even exercised a lot (because i like body contrast).

I think the situation is far more complex than this. I dont think we are feeders & feedees as clear roles etc, even if it appears as such. The situation seems far more chaotic. Its not like you will find what you really are if you "look deep inside". What you think you are is constantly fabricated, in a way, which is the only possible way this part of us can exist, i think.

I've met a number of men who start out as feeders before eventually becoming feedees - usually after they are unable to find a feedee of their own.

I think some of that is because they never considered getting fat as an option. Other times, it's nice to be the one doted on and catered to. Guys like princess treatment too.

I didn’t go down the feeder to feedee pipeline I got fat struggled with it then got fatter then learned to accept and embrace it then got fatter. In fact I sorta gained an appreciation for other fat bodies that I never had before after I discovered feedism. Something to consider.

I would probably say that feedees, you are your best feeder, I don’t have experience the other way but I imagine you’d probably make yourself your own best feedee

Good god would I let you ruin my body 🤤

[ Raises hand ]


I'm all about mutual now - I've been my own feeder and while it feels like a strange dichotomy sometimes, I really enjoy being able to experience both sides of the feedism relationship.