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How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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Ultimateaaron12   United States
Joined 4 months
I think I’m finally ready to give into gaining but my problem is I feel really embarrassed at the idea of ordering at restaurants or grocery shopping like a fat person especially as someone the exact opposite and of course already being shy in general doesn’t help but I’m wondering if anyone who had a similar experience who was embarrassed about giving in and eventually let go has any advice would be greatly appreciated
3 months

How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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Morbidly A Beast   United States
Joined 2 years
Ultimateaaron12:
I think I’m finally ready to give into gaining but my problem is I feel really embarrassed at the idea of ordering at restaurants or grocery shopping like a fat person especially as someone the exact opposite and of course already being shy in general doesn’t help but I’m wondering if anyone who had a similar experience who was embarrassed about giving in and eventually let go has any advice would be greatly appreciated


3 words: food delivery apps
Worried about people judging you for getting enough food to feed a family of 12, don’t worry door dash will do it for you and they’ll just drop it at your door no interaction required

Or you can do curbside pick up you can have someone shop for you and alls you have to do is open your trunk and boom you got groceries or like I said just get a grocery delivery app

People need to stop worrying about what people might say or do and just learn to go with the vibes, don’t get me wrong I struggle with this sometimes too but the idea that someone is going to say something or bully you for being a fatty because you got a lot of food will never happen and if it does ever I will eat my words trust me but it won’t the fear is irrational fundamentally
3 months

How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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SumoSized   United States
Joined 4 months
Ultimateaaron12:
I think I’m finally ready to give into gaining but my problem is I feel really embarrassed at the idea of ordering at restaurants or grocery shopping like a fat person especially as someone the exact opposite and of course already being shy in general doesn’t help but I’m wondering if anyone who had a similar experience who was embarrassed about giving in and eventually let go has any advice would be greatly appreciated

Morbidly A Beast:
3 words: food delivery apps
Worried about people judging you for getting enough food to feed a family of 12, don’t worry door dash will do it for you and they’ll just drop it at your door no interaction required

Or you can do curbside pick up you can have someone shop for you and alls you have to do is open your trunk and boom you got groceries or like I said just get a grocery delivery app

People need to stop worrying about what people might say or do and just learn to go with the vibes, don’t get me wrong I struggle with this sometimes too but the idea that someone is going to say something or bully you for being a fatty because you got a lot of food will never happen and if it does ever I will eat my words trust me but it won’t the fear is irrational fundamentally

I feel like this is a really common fear for people who started off skinny, or people who just generally grew up in a very fatphobic household. I'm definitely guilty of projecting a lot of the fatphobic views my parents instilled in me, so for instance sometimes when I'm going through a drive thru as soon as I hear the person's voice through the speaker I'll downsize my order because I'm afraid of them thinking I'm being a fatty. So I can definitely vouch for morbidly a beast's advice. Even if the worker is going to completely forget you exist in like 5 seconds, ordering online helps avoid feeling embarrassed
3 months

How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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Fatluvinguy   United States
Joined 21 years
It seems to me you either have the gainer mindset or you don't. When I was actively gaining 30 years ago, that mindset over powered any fears of embarrassment or criticisim caused by my weight gain. If you truly want to gain, you'll do it. You won't find excuses to talk yourself out of it. When people told me I was getting fat, I was thrilled. I mean I was trying to get fat after all, so the comments were just confirmation I was succeeding. That's the attitude you want to have.
3 months

How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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Bigwideland   Australia
Joined 2 years
I think you just have it, I was 5 and new I want to be big and fat, where that came from who knows. But I recall dreams of eating and growing about that age. So for me it always was. Can you acquire the mind set later or by choice I deffer to others on that. But as expressed by others in this thread if I gain I am happy if I lose to much I am misserable, feeling of missing out.i am still self concious at times but do not act on that just put up with it or face it. As the restrictions with size moving fitting into clothes cars ect.. it's a continuous adaptation and look for solutions and options but not given up on growing.
3 months

How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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J8o8h8n   United States
Joined 1 year
There's definitely a lot of great advice in this thread. I know I struggle with going back and forth myself on gaining, part of me wants to not go all in on gaining, but I've definitely found myself doing more fast food stuffings lately. I still worry a bit about what others might think and overall health risks that come with weight gain (especially since when I do cave to my gaining desires, I stuff myself silly with thousands of calories of fast food).
3 months

How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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Bigdoug   United States
Joined 1 year
Bigwideland:
I think you just have it, I was 5 and new I want to be big and fat, where that came from who knows. But I recall dreams of eating and growing about that age. So for me it always was. Can you acquire the mind set later or by choice I deffer to others on that. But as expressed by others in this thread if I gain I am happy if I lose to much I am misserable, feeling of missing out.i am still self concious at times but do not act on that just put up with it or face it. As the restrictions with size moving fitting into clothes cars ect.. it's a continuous adaptation and look for solutions and options but not given up on growing.


I feel the same. I have always enjoyed food and eating and considered it an extremely important activity. Being fat and getting fatter is a point of personal pride for me, even when fatphobic societal attitudes have forced me at times to mask and hide that pride. I do think you can “train” yourself to have this type of attitude towards gaining and being fat but it’s never going to run as deep or come as natural as when you’re “born” with it.
3 months

How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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Fatluvinguy   United States
Joined 21 years
J8o8h8n:
There's definitely a lot of great advice in this thread. I know I struggle with going back and forth myself on gaining, part of me wants to not go all in on gaining, but I've definitely found myself doing more fast food stuffings lately. I still worry a bit about what others might think and overall health risks that come with weight gain (especially since when I do cave to my gaining desires, I stuff myself silly with thousands of calories of fast food).
Health risks are a whole different thing. That's why I always say being a feedee or gainer is a young persons game. As you get older health problems will likely pop up, especially if your really fat. Unless part of your kink is eating yourself to death, most people will call it quits. I had to stop finally and lost weight because I didn't want to die young. I still feel the urges, but I have to keep it in the fantasy world now.
3 months

How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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ILuvChubbyChix   United States
Joined 17 years
administrator
Ultimateaaron12:
I think I’m finally ready to give into gaining but my problem is I feel really embarrassed at the idea of ordering at restaurants or grocery shopping like a fat person especially as someone the exact opposite and of course already being shy in general doesn’t help but I’m wondering if anyone who had a similar experience who was embarrassed about giving in and eventually let go has any advice would be greatly appreciated


If it's takeout food, who cares? They don't know if it's just for you, or even if they do, they probably don't care.

At the grocery store... again, who cares? Maybe you're buying for others in addition to yourself.

Even if you forget about gaining and feederism for a second, think about it. Who buys entire turkeys or those big sheet cakes? Or those larger pizzas? Most of them do so with the idea more than one person will be eating it. So maybe that's what you're doing. Or maybe not, but that's not really your business.

You can also always use self checkout. If a cashier asks, say you have a lot of cooking and prep to do, or there's some sort of event or big get-together coming up.
3 months

How do i achieve the gainer mindset

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Angelgluttony   United States
Joined 11 months
As odd as it may seem don’t start with food as an encouragement. Start with admiring plus size bodies. It not only helps you figure out where you want to be as a gainer but it’ll also help you determine if you’d truly be okay with what may come with gaining weight. It truly isn’t as simple as it may appear and there’s a lot to take into consideration when making such a life changing decision. I hope it helps & I wish you luck in whatever your heart follows.
3 months
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