Fat experiences

Recently I have noticed my mind and character changing while gaining 13 lbs in a month and I was wondering if anyone has experienced the same either with short term or long term gaining and if yes, how did it look like for you?

I constantly think about gaining now - now that I've put on a good amount, I'm motivated to keep going.

I also am constantly aroused, which has pluses and minuses. It feels great to be fat and sensually/sexualy confident, but it's a minus and frustrating if you can't find someone who shares your love of fatness and weight gain.

Trigger warning for abuse and unhealthy body image issues

Former gainer here. I got a lot bolder when I was on my weight gain journey.

I grew up in an abusive household. My mom had a lot of body image issues and would project that onto me since we look so much alike. I was underweight due to some lifelong health issues. I was between 110 and 115 for the most part, and I hated it. But any time I gained even 5 lbs, my mother would go off the deep end and body shame me back into compliance.

She used to model, but after having kids, she was no longer slim and hated it. She'd often tell me how much she wished she had my body and that one day she'll get back down to that size.

Meanwhile, I was miserable. I got cold all the time, I was sick a lot. I felt ugly even though everyone around me would gush about how pretty I was. I'd often fantasize about how pretty I'd be as a BBW.

Eventually, it dawned on me that I was an adult, and my mother's unhinged opinions about my body didn't matter. So I took the plunge.

It was a special kind of hell at first. She'd viciously fat shamed me at every turn even when I wasn't even in the normal BMI range. I considered stopping several times just to spare myself the pain. But it was my body to change - not hers. And I'd rather live in one that made me happy.

Over time, as I kept disregarding her opinions, I got better at making and enforcing my boundaries. I even got her to stop fat shaming me. I knew she had her opinions, but if you bite someone's head off enough, they learn to keep it to themselves.

After a while, we had an adult conversation where I confronted her about her projection and how it impacted me. I even got an apology out of it. My mom's been on a healing journey about her own hang ups and our relationship is doing better.

Despite the suffering, I am happy about the person I ended up being. It's been very useful in both my professional and personal life.

Man, one of the most mentally draining experiences I’ve had came from the internet. Going from just an anonymous viewer to revealing yourself is such a big step to take. Being judged and given unsolicited opinions based on physical appearance was one of my biggest worries. I still suffer with it today but not as much as I did back then. I post & delete a lot in hopes I’d avoid the negativity. It was at a point where if I got one bad comment I’d delete my photos and start over. I’ve grown from that a bit but it still does get to me sometimes. It’s challenging. It may not be similar to others experiences or may be seen as a minor but it does affect people more then you know.

I think about how I look all the time...

I’m more mindless when eating, also food and calorie-obsessed. I’ve developed an autoerotic relationship with my body. Over time I changed from a more dominant feeder role to a submissive feedee. I’ve become habituated to overeating and avoiding exercise whenever possible.

I also genuinely perceive distances as farther than they actually are:
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26854404/

The article is so interesting. I have wondered if I was imagining things like that. Glad others had the same experience

I've talked about this in previous posts but since I started off skinny I'm not used to my body taking up space or being weighed down at all. Like when I was skinny I could easily slip through tight passages or jump real easily. Now I forget I'm bigger so I'll still try to squeeze through tighter gaps and end up getting stuck or knocking something down. And anytime I've had to jump I feel it in my knees a lot more than I have before. I have no clue if this feeling is going to get worse or if I'll just get used to it as I get bigger