Glitter Jelly:
Today I was in a shop where they sell small outdoor tables with chairs.
I don't know why, but I suddenly could swear the man who had been sitting there by himself had been staring at me, watching me while I shopped.
I discreetly glanced at him and, sure enough, the moment my eyes caught his gaze it confirmed my impression: he was looking back at me... and smiling.
Uncomfortable, I quickly walked to another aisle to get away from him.
I have tattoos and blue-purple hair, used to wear bold clothing when I was thin and confident so I'm used to people looking at me and either enjoyed it or didn't care.
That felt different... almost creepy?
I don't know what to think...
Maybe he was an FA and the clothes I was wearing made me look fat?
They were a little snug so maybe they didn't hide my small belly roll as well as I was hoping, but I don't think they were particularly ill fitting...
Munchies:
Pretty sure he was just a garden variety creep. No matter your size, shape, or outfit, there will always be pervs perving on you.
Also, as a side note, you do not need to be an FA to appreciate bigger bodies. I'd say most people who appreciate bigger bodies are not FAs. FA denotes having a kink/fetish. You don't need either of those to be attracted to bigger people.
Last thing of note, the way you describe yourself doesn't suggest you are a particularly large person. If anything, it sounds like you have an average body size. It just feels enormous to you because you got used to wearing extra smalls and smalls.
Maybe you're right, but I need to wear large sometimes and I do have a belly roll between my waistband and breasts which is quite noticeable when I bend over or squat.
Even when I was thin, my thighs and arms would draw attention to the fact I once was much bigger because they didn't skrink so much as became empty and saggy. With my breast (I suspect because of the elevated prolactin), my legs and upper arms were the first place that the fat went back to.
At my thinnest (90 lbs), I almost had a thigh gap, but I'm not sure people could see it. I just felt my thighs weren't rubbing anymore. Now they seem to rub even more than when I was 40+ heavier, and they touch almost down to my knees.
This not only makes me look out of proportion, it changed the way I walk because they get in the way of one another, if that makes sense. I've seen someone describe this as thighs "rolling" against each other.
Because of this I can't walk as fast as just 20 lbs ago, which I didn't expect to happen that quick.
I bet my fat % is close to what it used to be because when I was obese I was carrying all that weight around all the time so you have to have muscle. When I lost half my year in a little more than a year, I lost a lot of muscle too and I didn't get most of it back as I hate exercise.
I have years of trauma related to PE classes that I need to address with a therapist before I can start moving a little. Otherwise I have to bully myself into doing it, and the inner talk isn't healthy to say the least. It's probably the ED voice because even I wouldn't talk to myself this harshly.