General

Honestly, I think this is a reflection of wider society. Across the board in all demographics, people have grown more isolated. The world's on fire and people are not emotionally regulating themselves in a healthy manner.

I've seen people in the forums explicitly say they enjoy fat shaming randos on the street because it makes them feel better about themselves. I've seen people get into content creation because they are fat and want to feel wanted.

Lotta hurting, lonely people out there in kink space.

I figured it would make more sense to use examples most of us would recognize rather than singling out random people. I mean, I could name names, but it would just feel tacky. Also to my point, I don't really know any feedees or feeders anymore. I lost track of all of the ones I knew when I left DIMS. So I wouldn't have any current names to share even if I was willing.

But I agree that kink diversity is being lost rapidly. With it the open-mindedness this community was once known for. It sometimes feels like everything is about instant gratification and not long term admiration. There is no sense of connection of commitment to it anymore. I remember then this kink came with an obligation to play the long game and enjoy watching it happen. Not anymore. As another poster mentioned, it's more about entitlement.

I partially agree with the comment about being overworked beyond the capatacity for hobbies. We work so hard when we get home often sleep is the absolute priority and sex isn't even an option. But there does come a point where an individual is choosing not to understand himself. Not everyone experiences moments of introspection, and those people are the reckless ones. They don't know what about the kink gets them going, only that it does. Oftentimes they also believe it always has to end in an orgasm. A fetish is not so simple, yet this one has been reduced to the lowest common denominator. It really makes it hard to chat with others about it. I've been told I'm too intense and they can't can't chat, likely due to intimidation. The truth is I just know my preferences and sepreate fantasy from reality. 70+% of these people never bothered. I find it...disappointing and isolating.

I'll be honest, my fat kink experiences have been few and far between. I just can't find anyone I'm comfortable sharing it with. There's no one my age who feels it on the same level I do with the same needs I have. Statistically, yes, someone is out there. But I'll never meet them. Knowing this the dating sites seem pointless. And I seriously question the social media.

I get it. However, you may be unaware of this as you aren't as active in the community these days, and many people place the blame entirely on women.

Again, I am not saying that was your intention. However, I have dealt with several users going on rants about the "stuck-up money-hungry whores" that are ruining the community. It's gotten very ugly.

Thankfully, more men are stepping up to the plate these days. It's nice that more men are being visibly decent people. But the misogynistic people remain.

What is the purpose of purity if only to be defiled

It same with sweet country towns, or that hidden surf break. The initial people are about a core value the feel, comradery, the vibe. Then other notice less layed back people move in. If you get enough people moving in the opportunity people turn up, then the knockers and trolls. It just seems the nature of things.

This is an interesting thread, and many great points have been raised.

I've been part of this community since 2009—15 years now—and I've noticed significant changes. I miss the social aspect more and more. We used to have a fantastic group of people who would video chat, eat together, and meet up in person. It seems that many are no longer interested in friendly gatherings, and both sides—male and female, content creators and buyers—often exploit the community for sexual gratification / financial gain.

Fifteen years is a long time, and changes are inevitable. The way people use social media has evolved, and there’s greater acceptance of larger bodies in society, along with a growing trend of earning extra income through platforms like OnlyFans. While I understand why people want to make some money, it can feel like many who enter the space are simply trying to capitalize on the interest in larger bodies without a genuine passion for the community. This often leads to lower-quality content because the focus shifts to making money rather than pleasure.

I doubt things will return to how they once were. Content creators have always existed, even if they were previously called web models. However, I believe we need to initiate the change we want to see. I've tried organizing local meet-ups to connect with folks from the site, but they often don’t materialize. People need to put in the effort.

While we often discuss the influx of content creators and its impact on the community, I want to emphasize that you can identify as a feeder, foodie, or gainer without actively gaining weight. I was in a feeder/feeder relationship for ten years and only gained two stone during that time. People may lose weight for health reasons and still engage in feederism in the bedroom rather than as a lifestyle, they are still genuine but choosing how and where to indulge in the kink. Personally, my experience helped me embrace my body and fatness, leading to a wonderful relationship, which eventually ended, though we remain friends. Now, I've lost some weight but have come to realize I identify as FFA, likely influenced by my long-term involvement in the community. People change, and even genuine gainers may reconsider their lifestyles and kinks.

There is still room for content. Creators and for those of us who wish to meet and make friends in the space. I agree it does seem that the dominant interactions seem to be transactional. But there are many people who want relationships and friendships from this community.

Speaking as a moderator for a moment: we do not allow solicitation, begging, or advertising for content on the site. We want our members to feel comfortable engaging without feeling pressured to pay for participation in the community. If you encounter any issues, please report them to us.

c00kie
FF Team

You're not entirely wrong, but you are not entirely right either.

We'll never get those simpler times back, but that doesn't mean it's all doom and gloom. Community is what you make of it.

I remember how unsafe and unwelcome I felt when I first started being active on here. Sure, there were nice people, but I got harrassed a lot for being a woman, being black, being Jewish, not being a feedee, etc. I'd say the community was overrun by a special kind of asshole back then.

Yeah, I'd report people, but there were so many people like that it felt like wack a mole. One day I had enough and started publically standing up for myself and others. It was scary, but I couidn't live with myself if I backed down.

Well, it turns out I wasn't the only one that hated the status quo. Turns out, I was dealing with a very loud minority. They were so loud that everyone else thought the nice people were in the minority.

When I plucked up the courage to stand up to such people, others started doing it too. That vocal minority got quieter. It's more peaceful these day, and people are nicer.

A had thoughts on this specifically. Back in 2000/2001 there was no body positivity. Like at all. Everything in the media was demanding people be thin, healthy or not. Every movie star had exactly the same body type and build. Male pro wrestlers were literal steroid giants, and and female wrestlers were super athletes with implants who were relegated to hypersexualized bra and panties matches. I guess what I'm getting at is that the community was deeply closeted because fat was profoundly socially stigmatized. It isn't so bad today, but the increased visibility of the kink today has brought an arguably worse type of stigmatization than before. So to say not much has changed is pretty inaccurate in general, though it has been stagnant since around 2017 or 18. In 2020 when the #MeToo movement happened things went super covert for obvious reasons, but it eventually blew over.



Honestly I have seen this as well. I've also seen it on gay gainer sites, namely Grommr and BiggerCity. The community as a whole has become intensely toxic to a point where younger people wonder if they're crazy or mentally ill for wanting to be fat. It gets depressing sometimes.

I member the multi-year saga of King Gluttony. His name was Nick. He made money by modeling for Hansi for a while, but started having more serious health issues stemming from weighing over 800 pounds. He ended up creating a YouTube channel called Help for Nick where he detailed his struggles and health issues as they happened. He got a book deal and while he didn't specifically demonize the community, he also didn't have much positive to say about, either. In the end he never got the weight loss surgery he needed and he abruptly deleted everything. There was no weight loss journey or recovery. I haven't looked him up lately, but he did another video and photo set immediately after deleting his fundraiser stuff, then he disappeared entirely. I honestly don't know if he really wanted surgery. He would have had to lose weight to be approved, and he made it clear that he was a massive food addict and never did anything to fight it. He had such potential for a fell good story, and even a lot of money for him. He really just didn't want it badly enough.

On the opposite side, there were tons of comments on his YouTube begging him not to lose weight and calling him a traitor and such. There was a great deal of hostility and anger that he would want to lose weight. People were so entitled that they felt betrayed by a huge dude, completely kink free, would have the audacity to want to live a normal independent life. Fat fetishism, at it's absolute worst, is sociopaths who feed on the misery and dependence of others. Those were the ones Nick found himself surrounded by almost exclusively. It would make sense if that pressure was part of why he disappeared into obscurity despite having everything going for him.

Another one I remember was Luke, SuperXLChubboy. He was an extreme gainer beyond Nick. He entered the scene at about 635 or so. Dude was an instant star and was one of the first guys to popularize Hansi's Superchubs. Over time he gained a lot, peaking at around 1,060 lbs. He was really massive. At one point he was trying to raise money for WLS, I think before Hansi. He only raised $200. He had news articles and publicity, too. But his story wasn't compelling or dramatic enough for anyone to care. He was just a guy addicted to food who brought this on himself. Like so many others the modeling came as an income source. He eventually lost weight and stabilized at about 700. He would only rarely make content, and eventually just stopped. I have no idea if he continued.

I don't think he was in the recieving end of as much hate as Nick was, but I'm sure he got his share. Luke was far less assessable (and Canadian) and wasn't known to engage with the community much. He wasn't into it and didn't exploit it like he could have, so his socials were harder to find. Last I looked a couple years ago he hadn't been on in over a year.

So no, the toxicity isn't limited to female gainers. Hell, Antonio just started losing weight, too. Lots of obnoxious RIP comments there.

There's a whole personal ads section if you scroll down, but I think it's great if new folks spend some time lurking and reading and getting a feel for how things work here before they dive right into posting personals. You might get better results that way. This definitely isn't the thread for it, though.

Gonna make a separate post because this one has a lot of words.

I feel that you have missed the point I was trying to make. I am not saying that men do not face discrimination. I am saying that women are uniquely vulnerable to discrimination.

Legitimate concerns like the increasing commercialization of our fetish with the rise of Only Fans and the TikTok invasion a while back flattened into "All women are money-hungry gold diggers." "Don't give your money to internet strangers" flattened into "Never give a female feedee money because they are all scammers."

Things have gotten better in this regard, but it is still a prevalent thought. And it is a dangerous thought, too, because often, a specific flavor of men will publicly blast a woman for being a "scammer" only because she rejected his advances. This can severely damage that woman's reputation and open her up to harassment.

Thankfully, more people are asking questions and not taking these accusations at face value. But it happens all the same.