General

Old dude with thoughts on the community

SumoSized:
Oh I agree people really have no idea what they're getting themselves into when gaining that amount of weight, hell I question if I even know what I'm doing half the time. I'm more or less interested in what the median weight of feedees is and what the cut off is. I wonder if there is a specific cut off weight where people tend stop or if it has more of a gradual drop off. I also want to know if there's a consensus on an "ideal weight" for most people. Like beyond x weight too many issues start to arise so this would be the perfect cut off


From what I've seen, if you are thin starting out, 200 - 250 seems to be when most either stop or reverse course. This is the fattest they can get without negatively impacting their everyday lives. This number is smaller if you are short (160 - 180).


If you were chubby or "small fat," most stop in the 350 - 500 lbs range. This is around the size people experience moderate to major health issues.
7 months

Old dude with thoughts on the community

Munchies:
You make a lot of salient points, Food Enjoyer. It's a shame we are only now interacting, but oh well.

I hadn't considered the death feedist situation, but now that I have, I see that you have a point.

There aren't a lot of true death feedists out and about, but I've noticed an uptick in people flirting with the idea. I won't call these people suicidal, but I've noticed a sense of dispair.

To paraphrase one person I talked to about the situation, it's less about wanting to day and more about wanting to take the fetish to the upper limit without any regard to the consequences. Another person said something to the effect of "Life sucks, and I am going to die anyway. Might as well go out doing what I love."

Another thing I've noticed is that these people either do not stay in the community long or backpedal after the first serious health scare.

A lot of people will throw themselves into kink as a form of escapism. And that's all well and good up until it clashes with reality in ways you didn't sign up for.


Well—better late than never!

I think the number of people deliberately eating themselves to death for erotic purposes is probably small. But the proliferation of overt fantasy material about it is definitely interesting, and I think you're right that more often what is going on is fantasizing about prioritizing gaining and indulgence above any consequences rather than, say, the direct eroticization of literal self-destruction. Maybe in some cases the kink can help people arrive at a sense of existential peace about living and dying on their own terms but I think that is also probably more rare than people stopping and reevaluating when they first run into serious health problems. I know that was the case for me.

Then again, confronting that reality didn't change my sexuality or my attraction to fat and gaining in any meaningful way; the allure is still there alongside a better appreciation for the cost. (And maybe a little added seductive appeal to the fantasy of self-destruction.) Moth to a flame, etc.

I think the escapism of it all is an important point. It drives a lot of reckless behaviour and probably a fair amount of the entitlement. When a model (or anyone) eases off gaining it shatters the fantasy, and lots of people aren't emotionally equipped for that experience. Hence the OP's description of people decrying models who lose weight as "traitors" etc. Our fantasies have a way of organizing our realities and many of us are very attached to our illusions.
7 months

Old dude with thoughts on the community

SumoSized:
Oh I agree people really have no idea what they're getting themselves into when gaining that amount of weight, hell I question if I even know what I'm doing half the time. I'm more or less interested in what the median weight of feedees is and what the cut off is. I wonder if there is a specific cut off weight where people tend stop or if it has more of a gradual drop off. I also want to know if there's a consensus on an "ideal weight" for most people. Like beyond x weight too many issues start to arise so this would be the perfect cut off


This might be the one area where BMI is sort of useful; not as a health metric, obviously, but as a way of benchmarking relative size and body composition. The "ideal weight" varies a lot both in terms of subjective experience and how it's moderated by a person's height.

So for example, my "ideal" size in a partner is somewhere between 40 and 50 BMI. This looks like 230-250 on someone who is 5'4" but is closer to 275-300 for someone 5'10". (I imagine this is also the ideal range for myself, but because of my height I'd have to be 350 at a minimum... so I really don't know.)

Beyond 40 problems become more likely, but it's not a hard and fast rule (because BMI is a useless health metric). People also run into different problems at different sizes for different reasons. When I was 26 I had a diabetes scare when I was barely 280 (so mid-30s BMI iirc) while my partner at the time hit 350 (50+ BMI) without ever being flagged as pre-diabetic, even into her 30s with a pretty reckless diet. The human body is mysterious.

Ultimately the cutoff varies from person to person. But now that you mention it, I would definitely be interested in collating the data from other gainers for the sake of objectivity. Dreaming of an empirical science of feeding....
7 months

Old dude with thoughts on the community

SumoSized:
Oh I agree people really have no idea what they're getting themselves into when gaining that amount of weight, hell I question if I even know what I'm doing half the time. I'm more or less interested in what the median weight of feedees is and what the cut off is. I wonder if there is a specific cut off weight where people tend stop or if it has more of a gradual drop off. I also want to know if there's a consensus on an "ideal weight" for most people. Like beyond x weight too many issues start to arise so this would be the perfect cut off

Food Enjoyer:
This might be the one area where BMI is sort of useful; not as a health metric, obviously, but as a way of benchmarking relative size and body composition. The "ideal weight" varies a lot both in terms of subjective experience and how it's moderated by a person's height.

So for example, my "ideal" size in a partner is somewhere between 40 and 50 BMI. This looks like 230-250 on someone who is 5'4" but is closer to 275-300 for someone 5'10". (I imagine this is also the ideal range for myself, but because of my height I'd have to be 350 at a minimum... so I really don't know.)

Beyond 40 problems become more likely, but it's not a hard and fast rule (because BMI is a useless health metric). People also run into different problems at different sizes for different reasons. When I was 26 I had a diabetes scare when I was barely 280 (so mid-30s BMI iirc) while my partner at the time hit 350 (50+ BMI) without ever being flagged as pre-diabetic, even into her 30s with a pretty reckless diet. The human body is mysterious.

Ultimately the cutoff varies from person to person. But now that you mention it, I would definitely be interested in collating the data from other gainers for the sake of objectivity. Dreaming of an empirical science of feeding....

That's definitely true, I still have a fair amount of muscle so I look smaller for how much I weigh. So even just going off weight isn't a perfect measure but that's probably only a bigger deal in lower weight classes rather than higher ones
7 months

Old dude with thoughts on the community

SumoSized:
Oh I agree people really have no idea what they're getting themselves into when gaining that amount of weight, hell I question if I even know what I'm doing half the time. I'm more or less interested in what the median weight of feedees is and what the cut off is. I wonder if there is a specific cut off weight where people tend stop or if it has more of a gradual drop off. I also want to know if there's a consensus on an "ideal weight" for most people. Like beyond x weight too many issues start to arise so this would be the perfect cut off

Munchies:
From what I've seen, if you are thin starting out, 200 - 250 seems to be when most either stop or reverse course. This is the fattest they can get without negatively impacting their everyday lives. This number is smaller if you are short (160 - 180).


If you were chubby or "small fat," most stop in the 350 - 500 lbs range. This is around the size people experience moderate to major health issues.

Damn that's concerning because I started off really skinny and I'm hoping to well exceed 250 lbs
7 months

Old dude with thoughts on the community

SumoSized:
Oh I agree people really have no idea what they're getting themselves into when gaining that amount of weight, hell I question if I even know what I'm doing half the time. I'm more or less interested in what the median weight of feedees is and what the cut off is. I wonder if there is a specific cut off weight where people tend stop or if it has more of a gradual drop off. I also want to know if there's a consensus on an "ideal weight" for most people. Like beyond x weight too many issues start to arise so this would be the perfect cut off

Munchies:
From what I've seen, if you are thin starting out, 200 - 250 seems to be when most either stop or reverse course. This is the fattest they can get without negatively impacting their everyday lives. This number is smaller if you are short (160 - 180).


If you were chubby or "small fat," most stop in the 350 - 500 lbs range. This is around the size people experience moderate to major health issues.

SumoSized:
Damn that's concerning because I started off really skinny and I'm hoping to well exceed 250 lbs


It's not a hard and fast thing. I know several people on this site who weigh 400, 500+ lbs and used to be skinny or in good shape. However, this came with sacrifices on their end. Unless you make an effort to keep up your fitness and flexibility, you won't be able to do as many of the things you did at 160 as you can at 300.

My partner used to weigh about 200 lbs and play water polo. Now, at 400 lbs, he'll laugh if you suggest such a thing.
7 months

Old dude with thoughts on the community

Homie is 19. If that’s true ggs you have a metabolism still I didn’t seriously start packing weight until I was 25-26 that’s when I shot from slightly chubby to out right fat a few years later that’s with crash dieting and yo-yoing just following my appetite

Not to discourage if you really are young
7 months

Old dude with thoughts on the community

Food Enjoyer:
Well—better late than never!

I think the number of people deliberately eating themselves to death for erotic purposes is probably small. But the proliferation of overt fantasy material about it is definitely interesting, and I think you're right that more often what is going on is fantasizing about prioritizing gaining and indulgence above any consequences rather than, say, the direct eroticization of literal self-destruction. Maybe in some cases the kink can help people arrive at a sense of existential peace about living and dying on their own terms but I think that is also probably more rare than people stopping and reevaluating when they first run into serious health problems. I know that was the case for me.

Then again, confronting that reality didn't change my sexuality or my attraction to fat and gaining in any meaningful way; the allure is still there alongside a better appreciation for the cost. (And maybe a little added seductive appeal to the fantasy of self-destruction.) Moth to a flame, etc.

I think the escapism of it all is an important point. It drives a lot of reckless behaviour and probably a fair amount of the entitlement. When a model (or anyone) eases off gaining it shatters the fantasy, and lots of people aren't emotionally equipped for that experience. Hence the OP's description of people decrying models who lose weight as "traitors" etc. Our fantasies have a way of organizing our realities and many of us are very attached to our illusions.


One of the things I do is help people find their balance between reality and kink. Many people hate it when I "rain on their fun," but I'm not. There's a way to enjoy this kink - even the extreme parts without sacrificing their lives - their personhood - to this kink.

There are posts from users asking how to develop a food addiction so they can get fat. They ask this in ignorance, not understanding how devastating an addiction truly is.
7 months

Old dude with thoughts on the community

Morbidly A Beast:
Homie is 19. If that’s true ggs you have a metabolism still I didn’t seriously start packing weight until I was 25-26 that’s when I shot from slightly chubby to out right fat a few years later that’s with crash dieting and yo-yoing just following my appetite

Not to discourage if you really are young


Can confirm. I was naturally underweight for a while. I'd gorge myself comatose on as many calories as I could fit inside me and still never gained a pound. Things didn't start sticking until I was 23.
7 months

Old dude with thoughts on the community

Morbidly A Beast:
Homie is 19. If that’s true ggs you have a metabolism still I didn’t seriously start packing weight until I was 25-26 that’s when I shot from slightly chubby to out right fat a few years later that’s with crash dieting and yo-yoing just following my appetite

Not to discourage if you really are young

Munchies:
Can confirm. I was naturally underweight for a while. I'd gorge myself comatose on as many calories as I could fit inside me and still never gained a pound. Things didn't start sticking until I was 23.

I do find that encouraging, Ive been trying to eat well above my calorie deficit for a while and my weight has been fairly stagnant. So hopefully after I give it some time I'll be able to start gaining seriously. I don't really have a set goal, I just know I want to be bigger and I'll listen to my body when it tells me it's ready to quit
7 months
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