General

Well—better late than never!

I think the number of people deliberately eating themselves to death for erotic purposes is probably small. But the proliferation of overt fantasy material about it is definitely interesting, and I think you're right that more often what is going on is fantasizing about prioritizing gaining and indulgence above any consequences rather than, say, the direct eroticization of literal self-destruction. Maybe in some cases the kink can help people arrive at a sense of existential peace about living and dying on their own terms but I think that is also probably more rare than people stopping and reevaluating when they first run into serious health problems. I know that was the case for me.

Then again, confronting that reality didn't change my sexuality or my attraction to fat and gaining in any meaningful way; the allure is still there alongside a better appreciation for the cost. (And maybe a little added seductive appeal to the fantasy of self-destruction.) Moth to a flame, etc.

I think the escapism of it all is an important point. It drives a lot of reckless behaviour and probably a fair amount of the entitlement. When a model (or anyone) eases off gaining it shatters the fantasy, and lots of people aren't emotionally equipped for that experience. Hence the OP's description of people decrying models who lose weight as "traitors" etc. Our fantasies have a way of organizing our realities and many of us are very attached to our illusions.

This might be the one area where BMI is sort of useful; not as a health metric, obviously, but as a way of benchmarking relative size and body composition. The "ideal weight" varies a lot both in terms of subjective experience and how it's moderated by a person's height.

So for example, my "ideal" size in a partner is somewhere between 40 and 50 BMI. This looks like 230-250 on someone who is 5'4" but is closer to 275-300 for someone 5'10". (I imagine this is also the ideal range for myself, but because of my height I'd have to be 350 at a minimum... so I really don't know.)

Beyond 40 problems become more likely, but it's not a hard and fast rule (because BMI is a useless health metric). People also run into different problems at different sizes for different reasons. When I was 26 I had a diabetes scare when I was barely 280 (so mid-30s BMI iirc) while my partner at the time hit 350 (50+ BMI) without ever being flagged as pre-diabetic, even into her 30s with a pretty reckless diet. The human body is mysterious.

Ultimately the cutoff varies from person to person. But now that you mention it, I would definitely be interested in collating the data from other gainers for the sake of objectivity. Dreaming of an empirical science of feeding....

That's definitely true, I still have a fair amount of muscle so I look smaller for how much I weigh. So even just going off weight isn't a perfect measure but that's probably only a bigger deal in lower weight classes rather than higher ones

Damn that's concerning because I started off really skinny and I'm hoping to well exceed 250 lbs

It's not a hard and fast thing. I know several people on this site who weigh 400, 500+ lbs and used to be skinny or in good shape. However, this came with sacrifices on their end. Unless you make an effort to keep up your fitness and flexibility, you won't be able to do as many of the things you did at 160 as you can at 300.

My partner used to weigh about 200 lbs and play water polo. Now, at 400 lbs, he'll laugh if you suggest such a thing.

Homie is 19. If that’s true ggs you have a metabolism still I didn’t seriously start packing weight until I was 25-26 that’s when I shot from slightly chubby to out right fat a few years later that’s with crash dieting and yo-yoing just following my appetite

Not to discourage if you really are young

One of the things I do is help people find their balance between reality and kink. Many people hate it when I "rain on their fun," but I'm not. There's a way to enjoy this kink - even the extreme parts without sacrificing their lives - their personhood - to this kink.

There are posts from users asking how to develop a food addiction so they can get fat. They ask this in ignorance, not understanding how devastating an addiction truly is.

Can confirm. I was naturally underweight for a while. I'd gorge myself comatose on as many calories as I could fit inside me and still never gained a pound. Things didn't start sticking until I was 23.

I do find that encouraging, Ive been trying to eat well above my calorie deficit for a while and my weight has been fairly stagnant. So hopefully after I give it some time I'll be able to start gaining seriously. I don't really have a set goal, I just know I want to be bigger and I'll listen to my body when it tells me it's ready to quit

Regarding death feederism in general, I also don't remember it being a thing until the 2010s. There was a podcast once that featured mostly gay male gainers called The Gaining Life. The majority of them didn't speak much on their weight issues specifically or their desires to or not to be fat, just how they found the community and when. One guy, however, I want to say it was Fatfatplus, but don't quote me, said something interesting. He mentioned that he knew guys who were looking forward to health problems and they wanted heart problems because that would somehow make them feel validated. It was just a throwaway comment, I forget who he said it to, but it was the first time I'd ever heard of or contemplated such a thing. I think with increased exposure of a kink comes more extreme ways of experiencing it. As a result we have people who see the exaggerated porportions of the classic fat art and think they can make it real, with complete awareness of the potential side effects and consequences such decisions can have. In truth almost no one who attempts such a thing intentionally ever achieves their goal of literally dying from being too fat. Those that do are almost exclusively medical/mental health cases which resulted in extreme and crippling food addiction.

I think the desire to achieve death by feederism is rooted more in the desire to have the fantasy image of complete freedom and control over one's life. In fantasy terms, being completely immobile obligated others to do your bidding: housework, cooking, errands etc. It implies a level of financial stability: money to throw away on ungodly amounts of food, paid off house or consistently paid rent, vehicle to transport person and food, and maintenance on both. It guarantees a lifelong commitment beyond the obvious: a feeder partner is stereotyped as only wanting the largest feedee with the biggest appetite, and as long as they have it they will never leave. And it also demands attention: on top of having literally everything done for the feedee, they are also going to see doctors, presumably frequently. This would cause emotional upset, sympathy and pity from others, and a general ability for either intense enjoyment at causing such emotional intensity, or manipulation to make it continue or create the desired reaction.

In the end I think most people who claim to want to gain until they die really want one of two things. Either they want control and security in every aspect of their lives, or they want power and control over others. Both dynamics have played out multiple times on 600 pound life, intentionally or not.

That said, people who weigh 800+ pounds are exceedingly rare, even in the realms of reality TV and internal medicine. And, to my knowledge, it is really REALLY hard to purposefully eat enough consistently enough for a long enough period to get that huge. Which is the most likely reason it is so rare in real life.

I found the podcast in the waybackmachine, if anyone is interested: archive.org/details/TheGainingLife
As mentioned, none of it is particularly illuminating, but it is an interesting snapshot of what feederism was like in the 2010s, and reflections from some of the people who were there in the early internet days. Warning: some of them didn't have the kink and were in it for acceptance before before fat acceptance was socially acceptable. Some episodes go more in depth than others, food preferences, eating a lot how and when, those sorts of things. The majority of it is centered on the individual's self perception, and isn't really a how to guide or instruction manual of how to get fat. Some episodes never mention kink or intent but are about physically living as a huge person (superxlchubboy's is worth listening to if you think you want to weigh 800 pounds).