General

My kidself's bffs mom was very large (if I had to guess I'd say in the 400lb range) and I remember she was huggable and would make us fresh cookies and KD and we could eat as much as we wanted afterschool 2-3 days a week.

I remember in 2nd grade being distinctly aware that I was the only kid with a round visible tummy too.

i've thought about this a lot... wanting to understand where it came from. I have several very early memories, kindergarden or younger.

I was very aware that I had a big round tummy very young. We had a girl my age a few houses down and we'd play together and often we'd compare our tummies and mine was always so much bigger and stuck out more. I was kinda fascinated by it, how big it was, rubbing it, eating, filling it.

I know I liked feeling full... I remember sitting at the table, I think possibly still in a high chair and asking for more food because "I want more in my tummy...My tummy wants more" or something. The grownups all laughed I remember that.

And another very early memory: my grandfather was very fat and a big eater. Tiny me tried to eat as much as he did... i can hear his low rumbly laugh as he jokingly egged me on... and i can still see his big belly shaking as he laughed, and how enormously full I felt.

I also have distinct memories of stuffing a pillow in my shirt or my pyjama onesie from like 3-4 or so... in my cot while napping after lunch. I remember it felt so comforting to have a full stomach and then my huge pillow-belly to hug.

I also figured out very early that if i used elastic but robust materials I could recreate the kind of pressure I felt when I overate, I had this one fairy or mermaid leotard thing for dress-up and it was very shiny and very stretchy but also extremely resistant to force.

I would put on that leotard over a very thick and fluffy sweater that i'd stuffed more clothes under and oooooh the compression on my big tummy felt so good, and also how enormous it looked... I'd waddle around my room, arching my back, sticking my tummy out as far as it went and rub my hands all over it's shiny smooth roundness.

And then later came the books and stuff I just obsessed over. that part in Matilda, with the chocolate cake...

I remember being intensely excited about seeing fat characters in cartoons when I was little. What I vividly remember is that one Fairly Oddparents episode in which everybody becomes fat because Timmy wished the entire world would only eat desserts. That episode was my ecstasy. It put me in some sort of euphoric state, something I never felt before.

But there are many others like the Simpsons episode in which Homer got even fatter than he already is... the Fat Kat episode from Kid vs Kat... there was also some weight gain happening in American Dragon... The weight gain of the mayor from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs... Just to name a few I still have in mind.

Maybe somebody has seen Mister Maker before. It was an arts and crafts show, and occasionally four huge shapes would show up, dance and sing. A triangle, square, rectangle and circle. I was 5 years old or younger when I used to watch that show, and I was so into the circle because he was so big and round. It makes me laugh thinking about it now because it was simply just a talking circle with a face and legs.

The cartoon that attracted me to fat and woke up the pig in me, was Fat Albert

But I remember my first gluttonous act. My first birthday. I remember using my fingers to taste the green vanilla frosting. Then dove my hands in it and grabbed a handful and shoved it into my little piggy mouth. Again and again. My parents let me devour that big white sheet cake

i first realised i was into bigger girls when some of the girls at school got fat in early high school