General

I’m only replying to such comments because I don’t want other people going through the same thing that I’m going through to feel let down by other’s peoples negativity and keep blaming themselves. Trust me. I know I am the problem. I’ve blamed myself and hated myself for what I am many times and I know that isn’t the answer. I am a very motivated person to put in the effort to help myself grow as a person. I’m not going to start listing off everything little thing I have done and changed about myself over this relationship to make you believe I am a good person. The last thing I want to do is give up on this relationship and bring my issues into the next. I’ve made that mistake before. I want to find ways to create a healthy relationship with such a unique problem that I, and I’m sure many others, have. Of course being just grateful for what I have is part of it and yes sex is not the only thing in a relationship but to me, it is important and it’s not something I can change about myself and that’s why I want to find ways I can at least build a fulfilling sexual relationship with a girlfriend that is accepting of my kink but doesn’t fully align with it. I’m hoping someone out there has worked through this. Also, I have gone to therapy and I’m planning on going to more.

Why don't you want to do things for your girlfriend?

Elaborate

I asked you earlier what you do to please your girlfriend. You went on and on about how she indulges your kinks, but it doesn't hit right for you.

So I asked what you do for her, and you went on this tirade about how you aren't the best boyfriend and you're in therapy, and yada yada yada. I took that to mean that you don't reciprocate, you know you don't reciprocate, and you know you are in the wrong for that.

Or did I wildly misunderstand you?

Hey so this is always a difficult situation. You have brought up some interesting points.

If she is engaging (even if flat) that's promising. There are a lot of partners who are not willing. Are you giving the same effort back? If not and she is going the extra mile this is something to consider.

Yes therapy should be an option but it's ridiculously expensive and sometimes not covered by insurance if you specifically look for a sex therapist so all out of pocket.

Your talk with your girlfriend needs to be honest about your wants and needs and hers. See if you can compromise but keep reassuring her that you love your relationship and do not want to end it over this. You are wanting to work on solutions.

That is a healthy way of communicating