Lifestyle tips

Kitsune:
I hate myself. I am an evil person.

Enas:
Why do you hate yourself?

And what do you think an evil person is?

Kitsune:
Because I misunderstood the post and I think I was being selfish. Even though I was just depressed and I myself have an abusive dad. I am afraid Ditzy was making it seem like I was a wealthy person when everyday I have to work at a physical job while everyone hates me and make not as much money. Now I am planning to run away to Seattle and live with my dad's relatives that way I can risk having a happy life. I even thought of doing self harm days ago when I got in trouble in the office for falling asleep at work. I didn't have the courage to tell them my troubled life at home. I wish I was a famous animator and fullfill my dreams. That's what preventing me from killing myself.

As for why I think I am an evil person. I have mentally hurt people in the past and I have got into arguments online. I am terminally ill because I don't have many friends and I am all alone. I rarely go out. The internet is my only escape.

Kitsune:
No it's been a while since I had found a therapist. For a while now I used to think therapists were physical only. In other words, I didn't think there were online-only therapists.

Welp, it took me a while to find out such a thing exists. Why I can't meet one irl someone may ask? Well, I don't want my dad knowing about my mental health. One time my sister talked about her problems at home and my dad was pissed and thought she was making him seem like "the bad guy."

My hurdle was I never had any healthcare insurance. I missed the deadline to sign up for the company's offer years ago. I guess I would've winged it with a third part but idk I was new to this. Finally, I signed up for healthcare a few months back. But I haven't choosen my primary care doctor yet.

I might end up buying a webcam from Amazon that way I don't have to do this physical. I am too anxious to talk to someone but I guess I have no other choice. Man I wish I lived in Europe or Canada. You guys are lucky to have free health care.

Kitsune:
I tried looking for options on Reddit. Most responses says therapists would rather talk than write or text since it isn't deemed as professional. I wish us patients can write first that way we can get comfortable once we feel read to see eachother face to face.

Kitsune:
I tried looking for options on Reddit. Most responses says therapists would rather talk than write or text since it isn't deemed as professional. I wish us patients can write first that way we can get comfortable once we feel read to see eachother face to face.

Enas:
I would only advice you to prepare before hand, meaning, dont wait for the session to think about your thoughts, do that in your free time & write down stuff! Then give that to the therapists! It will be very helpfull i think!

Kitsune:
Thanks for the idea. I hope it all goes well once I find my therapist.

I am still hurt by Ditzy's comment. I have been SA'd as a kid/teen and abused. Bullied a lot at school as well. Yet I never say people won't survive what I went through. Why the hell would anyone want to go through with that? Don't get me wrong I do feel bad for her but it's like she's implying our lives aren't as flawed and we live in perfect worlds. Just rubbed me the wrong way. I am already in a abusive relationship with my dad. If only I had the courage to tell her that

Ditzy:
Kitsune I never suggested anything about you personally or your situation.
Claiming You were hurt by what was in my comments is a stretch so please do things like that.
All I did was relay something I went thru nothing more. It had nothing to do with you personally.
I do hope you can get your life sorted out and have a happy life.

Ditzy:
I think you are right.
Abuse can come in different forms and none of it is good.