Viktoshka:
It sounds like for you it wasn't just a change in diet, but a real shift to freedom in the way you relate to food and yourself. What was it like to stop feeling shy and just enjoy what you want?
Morbidly A Beast:
You are exactly right. It was freeing, like a kid in a candy shop lol. I just let my appetite dictate my diet unconcerned with calories or what it was, if it tasted good I wanted it and I got more
It sounds like for you it wasn't just a change in diet, but a real shift to freedom in the way you relate to food and yourself. What was it like to stop feeling shy and just enjoy what you want?
Morbidly A Beast:
You are exactly right. It was freeing, like a kid in a candy shop lol. I just let my appetite dictate my diet unconcerned with calories or what it was, if it tasted good I wanted it and I got more
Dear Victoshka, I've read some of your posts in the forum and enjoyed them. I wish you lived closer to me because I feel having you as a friend would be very good for me and might help me make peace with food and my body, something I've never been able to do and have been struggling lately after an unexpected / accidental weight gain.
Like one of the posters above, a few years ago I was dangerously skinny after loosing half my body weight to anorexia. I had never been thin in my life before and to me it felt as exhilarating as getting fatter is to many people in the feedism community.
I've gained most of it back and I feel like a stranger in my own skin. I miss being able to see and feel my bones, which are now buried under a thick layer of fat. None of my pretty clothes fit anymore and I'm ashamed of what I've done to myself.
I've been on sick leave since May 2024 and my psychiatrist wants me to progressively go back to work soon. I'm terrified of the comments my coworkers will say, my body has changed so much since they last saw me. Thinking about this sends me into a dark spiral and I just want to stay in bed eating and sleeping all day.
I have a long way to go before I can stop feeling disgusted to embracing it. I don't know if I'll reach that point someday... I've kinda lost hope to be honest. But reading posts here has been helpful in my journey and that's why I keep coming back.
2 weeks
