Lifestyle tips

It feels funny to say that I need to "come out" about this fetish because I've been openly queer and trans for more than ten years. My whole life, I assumed that my feedist fetish was something I needed to keep secret. Anyways, over the past couple years I've been really working to get more comfortable with my sexuality and I want to tell my partner that I'm into being a feedee because I've been sort of secretly feeding myself. She's fat and super pro-fat and pro-kink and has told me that she likes how i look with the extra weight. The problem is just that I have this mental block that I don't know how to break down! I've been consciously into weight gain since like my earliest memories but I've never once talked about it with anyone! I don't know how to get rid of this mental block. I want to see a therapist to talk about it but I can't find a kink-aware therapist in my insurance network. Anyways I'm mostly just here to vent.

Ah yes, coming out of the fridge.

Talk about it with your partner.

Keep it to yourself with everyone else.

Good luck, it sounds like everything should go pretty good.

Hah, I'm kind of relieved to hear you compare it to coming out, because that's what it felt like for me too. I had to tell my husband a couple years ago, finally. And while it wasn't easy, I'm ultimately glad I did, because I feel like I'm more true to myself. It wasn't easy with him because he isn't pro fat, but how could I hide this from him forever??

I lightly "came out" to a few friends as well, and no one has been anything but full of love and understanding. Telling my best friend has been the most positive thing. It feels amazing to have someone you know and love to know this about you and how you see yourself and what makes you tick, someone who is willing to see it through your eyes, but also knows and understands everything else about you. I get to be myself with them truly!

I found it difficult to talk to a therapist about it. The pro fetish therapist I talked to didn't know a lot about this and couldn't find a lot of information to educate herself. I didn't find it helpful to talk to her, unfortunately, but that is just my experience with one person. And sometimes it's reassuring to have someone professional to talk to anyway. You might also try a therapist who has experience as a relationship counselor, but mention fetishes early on.

Excellent to hear you’ve explored your feelings and made it known to your hubby. I wish all hubbies were like me, but I know many men have been conditioned to like a certain figure. My brain has been different much of my life, though :-) I’ll always have words of encouragement to those confident enough to enjoy a fuller body :-)