Lifestyle tips

It feels funny to say that I need to "come out" about this fetish because I've been openly queer and trans for more than ten years. My whole life, I assumed that my feedist fetish was something I needed to keep secret. Anyways, over the past couple years I've been really working to get more comfortable with my sexuality and I want to tell my partner that I'm into being a feedee because I've been sort of secretly feeding myself. She's fat and super pro-fat and pro-kink and has told me that she likes how i look with the extra weight. The problem is just that I have this mental block that I don't know how to break down! I've been consciously into weight gain since like my earliest memories but I've never once talked about it with anyone! I don't know how to get rid of this mental block. I want to see a therapist to talk about it but I can't find a kink-aware therapist in my insurance network. Anyways I'm mostly just here to vent.

Ah yes, coming out of the fridge.

Talk about it with your partner.

Keep it to yourself with everyone else.

Good luck, it sounds like everything should go pretty good.

Hah, I'm kind of relieved to hear you compare it to coming out, because that's what it felt like for me too. I had to tell my husband a couple years ago, finally. And while it wasn't easy, I'm ultimately glad I did, because I feel like I'm more true to myself. It wasn't easy with him because he isn't pro fat, but how could I hide this from him forever??

I lightly "came out" to a few friends as well, and no one has been anything but full of love and understanding. Telling my best friend has been the most positive thing. It feels amazing to have someone you know and love to know this about you and how you see yourself and what makes you tick, someone who is willing to see it through your eyes, but also knows and understands everything else about you. I get to be myself with them truly!

I found it difficult to talk to a therapist about it. The pro fetish therapist I talked to didn't know a lot about this and couldn't find a lot of information to educate herself. I didn't find it helpful to talk to her, unfortunately, but that is just my experience with one person. And sometimes it's reassuring to have someone professional to talk to anyway. You might also try a therapist who has experience as a relationship counselor, but mention fetishes early on.

Excellent to hear you’ve explored your feelings and made it known to your hubby. I wish all hubbies were like me, but I know many men have been conditioned to like a certain figure. My brain has been different much of my life, though :-) I’ll always have words of encouragement to those confident enough to enjoy a fuller body :-)

I've been together with the same woman for almost 10 years and I have not fully come out, and I think I never will. I have told her about my pregnancy fetish and also that I like it when her belly is full after eating. But she says she just feels uncomfortable when full, and really wants to be skinny, which I respect. I have mentioned sometimes that I wouldnt mind her gaining. But I think I will never share the extend of the feeding stories that I read. I fear she will be super werided out.

Nearly 10 years and you have been quiet? You have got to say something or this will eat away at you for your entire life with her. Don't live in fear, if she truly loves you she will stay. Gain or not as well. You deserve to be honest to her.

I always have a hard time admitting as well. Gaining is usually not something people will intentionally do and I worry about making them uncomfortable.

The point is kind of what could I gain from it. I mean she knows I like it when her belly is bloated, but usually when that happens she feels rather uncomfortable, ie she does not like the feeling. She gained a bit 2 years ago and I told her that I liked it, and she said yes but you also like pregnant women and thats not how I want to look. She has kind of the submissive kink and she likes the pregnancy talk too. I just think there is no real point in sharing the extent. I mean the stories I read on devisntart can be quite dark and extreme I dont see why I should share that... Also I am not even sure if I would even like to make these stories real even if she was into it. maybe for me it just such a nice fantasy because it is so far from reality for me...
Idk I do really love her and maybe its ok to sometimes wank to explicitly what you dont have idk. How is it for you? In what kind of relationships are you?

I think it really comes down to how you feel. Some people feel like they have to hide too much of themselves to feel like their true selves in their relationship, and they feel uneasy.

I think some of us keep the whole weight gain fetish to ourselves, and get a little kink shamed from our partners. For some people, they are hiding core aspects of their sexuality, not just a darker or more intense tendency here and there.

If you both feel good and safe, that's the question to ask.

That’s really good question. For me, I still fear of revealing it to the family. I keep it private with my feeder, who is the only one in the world that knows this thing about me. Maybe later, with her making me big it would be easier to tell the family that I am gaining weight intentionally. I don’t know.