General

That’s great love the energy, own being fat there’s nothing to be insecure about when you realize you’re doing it because you love eating and love your body!

I understand this feeling. The biggest factor that has helped me is making friends who are fat and happy, especially outside of the fetish context. Also taking your gains more slowly can help because it makes the changes less obvious so people won’t comment on them as much.

Sometimes people outside of the feedism community who are fat will have a negative opinion of the fetish, but I think it’s worth it to get to know them. The risk is that you may develop more shame about the fetish aspect, but that will always be there because of taboo. The benefit is you get to know a variety of fat people, know their experiences and feelings, and see that a fat and happy life with friends and romance and sex is attainable. The key is seeing the person for who they are while recognizing how their weight throughout their life has shaped their personality and experiences.

Think about how and how often you interact with fat people on a regular basis. Examine whether you treat them differently from thinner folks and why, and also consider if you might be trying to ignore their fat as part of their identity! A lot of people, even those who are fat against their will, do want that taken into consideration (respectfully, of course) by people who interact with them.

I wish you the best, and from someone who struggles with all kinds of shame, body image issues, and social anxiety, I hope you can find your best way to live authentically. It is ALWAYS worth it to be your true self inside and out.