General

Have you noticed this?

As a hypnotist who helps people find themselves through fantasy fulfillment, I've seen a good number of people come to Me convinced they were just a feeder (I've even had a person come to Me as an out-and-out fatphobe), and over time they discover (without My pushing, obviously), that beneath it all, they really just... want to be "that fat woman" *themselves*.

Basically, just asking: Have you noticed this? Is it just Me because I'm working on the transformation with them to begin with so it's skewed?

What are your thoughts on feeders who discover that they're actually gender-queered feedees themselves?

I can’t say that it’s super common. I think it’s diminishing returns that brings feeder men to being feedees, but there’s something that evolves in us. I started out being a feedee but overtime I developed an appreciation for plus size women, it wasn’t there before.

I do suspect that a lot of feedees who have to stop gaining for their health end up becoming feeders, to have an outlet for it. And a lot of people fascinated by fat who are afraid to become fat themselves start out as feeders, and then gradually become feedees as they're around the lifestyle more.

Insofar as gender applies, I think it's just that in our society, the majority of feeders are male and the majority of feedees are female. I would guess that that's a social construct that varies between times and places, though.

Might not be for everyone, but it is an awesome choice, and have one’s own set of tits and lovely curves is so much fun.

Actually OP, you might consider a new file about it, and see how many see the light.

i have been a part of various kink communities over the decades, and i would agree with your assessment - compared to others, feedism has a higher degree of masc-identifiying participants transitioning to something else. either gender-fluid, or transitioning (either in reality or in their fantasies) into the bbw that they idealized.

i guess i have experienced it personally, to a degree. while i have no intent of transitioning, as i grew from a fit feeder to a ssbhm feedee, gender play definitely became a part of my sex life with my partner. soft, fat flesh definitely leans to being more feminine than taught, lean muscle (i know some bhm will bristle at this, lol). pecs turn to boobs, all of that... when my partner shaved off my body hair, it became even more apparent the growing (pun intended) similarities between my fat body and bbw partners i'd had in the past... and that was a turn-on for both me and my partner.

my theory is that it is all related to the deeply-programmed societal relationship of soft voluptuousness being seen as feminine.... and as these gender standards start to change and shift, it will dissipate. i am a bi-guy with a trans partner, so i see it happening, but it will take a few generations to sink in... so maybe when i am in my 80s?

interesting topic! i wish we had some polled stats to look at to see how kink communities trend.

Hahaha I was just brainstorming with My muse just literally *minutes* ago and she was like 🤔💭 "You knoooow...."

so that's definitely on the list for near-future file writing, I may even find the inspiration today!

Yeah, honestly, I'm fascinated if someone does such a study.

I think it has to do with like

The association of "softness" with femininity.

Like in a metaphorical sense, and then it expands (heh) to include physical softness too, since we associate softness typically with outgoing and gentle people, I think.

Yes please do!!! That would be sooo amazing and so much fun. There is nothing like open one self to be sweet, soft and fat. The best thing i have done is to stop consider my self a man anymore and get my own set of tits, i’m not sure yet if i want to fully transitioning, but i do know i dont want to go back. I hope that inspiration hits you soon!

Trans woman here 🙋‍♀️

Figured I'd weigh in on this since I have some first hand experience from a couple angles/aspects

To start, I started out as a feeder before i came out and transitioned and after became a feedee.

For me, I always wanted to gain and even from a young age I found myself really wanting to be a fat woman. I did try to gain at one point but so much of the weight distributed to masuline areas and without breasts to compliment the belly i was getting it triggered (what i now know was) dysphoria. At the time i resigned myself to being skinny/fit as a guy to avoid the discomfort it caused.

Growing up in a very queer oppressive household, i developed quite a bit of internalized homo/transphobia, so it took years to break that wall down and understand why i felt the ways I did.

In the time I had dated pre-transition, i found myself often dating bigger women and participating as a feeder, but it was an extremely vicarious experience every time. I found myself constantly thinking things like i wish i could have her body and i wish someone would feed me like I'm feeding her. It was my way of coping with not being able to be in their position at the time.

After transitioning I now find myself gaining and exploring being a feedee more and more and it feels more right. I feel like me and i no longer have that vicariousness to my experiences like i used to.

The other way i feel i have related input is through some of my experience dating men and the work I had done as an online dominatrix.

Being trans i have found that often the guys i attract for dating as well as the clients i attracted when doing online sex work (mostly sissies) often are attracted because they have a latent desire to be more feminine themselves. Guys I've dated have asked if they can try on my clothes, expecting me to be a safe space for them to explore and help them feel comfortable in doing so. The sissies I've worked with are often too closeted to allow themselves to experience being femme and want someone to "force feminize" them so they can relinquish the burden of overcoming their internalized trans/homophobia.

My last piece of input is fat can be extremely feminine feeling, especially once on hormones. Like when i feel my soft thighs i have now its extremely validating in my feminity. Not saying i don't still struggle with dysphoria anymore when gaining, but its a mixed bag at times and partially fights with the touch of body dysmorphia i struggle with.

Hope this helps y'all understand it from the perspective of a person who has lived it and taken the time in therapy to unpack a lot of it!

✨✨✨✨ Thank you so much for sharing that!!

Your experience is so similar to others I've met and worked with - Particularly I see so much resonance with My partner, who was a feeder in all of her previous relationships, but now is fully embracing who she is and what she loves.

It's amazing to be a part of this un-knotting I see happening in the women I interact with, where I can practically see the stress of masking (from the world, and themselves!) melt away with each session