General

for the past while that ive been open about being attracted to fat men, my friends, acquaintances, family, and practically everyone around me who i tell about my preferences or show them pictures of guys that ive gone for in the past has done nothing but ridicule my choices. like all i ever hear is “you can do so much better”, “whats wrong with you”, “ur literally joking” like the other day in my lecture i was showing my friend the guy who played me and her reaction was “ur lying.. why would u go for someone like him?? ur so pretty, and hes so…” like thats deadass what she said. and last weekend i found a fat guy at the frats so i told him i thought he was cute and started dancing with him and i was getting clipped by ppl i knew, posting videos on their snap priv stories saying “why is (my name) dancing with peter griffin?” and every time i show my actual preferences i get shit on by everyone like its actually so annoying. and its really conflicting for me because i know that im attractive enough to have a conventionally hot boyfriend, ive had tons of really “hot” guys try to go for me but like thats genuinely not what im attracted to.

People badmouthing other are always bound to exist everywhere. Its annoying and frustrating, I know. But spending our energy and attention for their ill intent only gonna drained us. I hope you will found someone who can understand yourself, like a comrade, who can lessen your burden everytime other try to ridicule someone doing outside of the norm. And I wish anyone who ridicule you will stop being judgemental, dear 🫰

Funny thing I don’t think it’s often talked about that even people like us who like bigger people get our fair share of hate as well. I’ve been called many things like: “Delusional/Disgusting” “Torta Pounder” “Liar” “Liberal” and things of why that I even find someone bigger than me attractive while saying such dehumanizing terms.

People who don’t understand something are going to hate it, it’s basically an easier response in a way. I know that it’s not very fun to be at the receiving end of the negativity from people. But for me personally I try my best to prioritize my own happiness over other people’s opinions. In fact, this should be about YOUR love life and should be about what YOU are attracted to. And if others tell you otherwise, then it’s on them and what they have been indoctrinated into believing.

I’m sure family and friends have taken note of what I find attractive, as my previous relationships prior to meeting my wife were with larger women. At least they’ve kept it to themselves, ha.

I’m finally past 200 pounds and my belly is growing nicely. My wife is closing in on 350 pounds now and we couldn’t find each other more attractive than how we are now! ❤️

Hey girl, as somebody who has dated bigger guys and bigger girls I’ve come to realize that if you are having fun with dating them and enjoying their company… you then don’t really care about others! Sure if people look and think of all sorts of shit, so be it. But would it really matter to you personally if you’re in that zone when dating someone? No it shouldn’t!

So in other words, just enjoy the moment with the guy you are with! The rest can be put aside. Also if they really are your friends, they would’ve acknowledge and accept that it’s your preference, even if they may not always like it themselves.

Yea I would definitely say that people insulting you for being you are not healthy people to be around

People are going to mock you and people are going to judge you. But love doesn’t judge.

I’ll leave it at that.

it's sad to hear that this has been your experience, i hoped/expected by now that people would be more open-minded and accepting. the reaction you describe mirrors what i experienced 25 years ago. it's sad that we haven't come very far.

I say lean into it and call them “weird shallow bigots” when they try to clip you. What awful behavior.

It is really annoying, and I'm sorry you have to go through it :<

When I was still in secondary school, all the guys were talking about "Boobs" or "Butt", but I was a "Belly" type of person. I felt I could never speak about it since it was so looked down on. My family even noticed I tended to like the chubbier girls in school and would make fun of me - so I tended to not share my feelings at all about it.

After college, I started to share my preferences with friends and family little by little. I remember a showed a picture of one of my partners to my mom, and she exclaimed "She's so fat". My mom's very fat phobic unfortunately. It always hurt me when she would make comments like that. I wanted to be myself, and stand for those I cared about. So I told my mom that I found my partner very beautiful and that she was happy the way she was. She commented her disgust, and I replied that I'm happy to date a girl with a tummy. It felt really strange to say that, but after that conversation, I felt more relaxed. Of course she doesn't know I'm into this fetish, but now they're aware that I have a preference towards chubbier women.

And regarding my friends or strangers - I know people are not comfortable with big changes, so when I speak about my preferences, I'll start with saying that I like "curvier" or "thiccc" girls, that instead of boobs and butts, I'm into their tummies and thighs cause it's nice to grab when cuddling. I'm always looking at their reactions - if I sense disgust and judgement, I usually don't mention it anymore and I may distance myself from them. When I'm met with curiosity, I do lean in more and tell them more about my preferences as "personal curiosities". For example, a friend was talking about how her sister had put on weight during marriage, and they mentioned they looked much happier. So I shared that I was also curious about gaining weight some day as I've been underweight most of my life.

I've found that the people who leaned in with curiosity about my preferences turned out to be the people I was most comfortable with. Most of them do not know about my fetish, but I do feel seen and accepted. When I was in the dating scene, some of my friends would try to connect me with their chubbier friends - I though that was a kind gesture

I hope you can soon find people and friends that accept you and your preferences, and are curious about it. It's gonna be uncomfortable, but lean into your attraction a bit more. If people ridicule you, you can ask them "why". It might seem obvious, but it's good to hear their side and start a conversation. If you feel someone's about to make a mean comment about your partner, you can interject with a positive adjective. "You're so pretty and he's so...": kind, fun, funny, cute, etc. If they try get further into it, you can just tell them you're into chubbier/bigger guys, or anything else that feels comfortable in the moment.