Lifestyle tips

Fat accomodations for an in-person work conference

BigBallBellyGirl:
I've worked exclusively from home since the pandemic, and I haven't seen my coworkers in person since January 2023, when I was about 300 lb. In May, we have a mandatory team work retreat, and I'm concerned about logistics. Fortunately, I won't have to fly like some of our team members will, but the retreat entails 2 and 1/2 days in a hotel conference room. There is also a work dinner on the first night, and an optional social hour on the 2nd.

I'm not quite sure how to approach a request for accommodations, but I know I won't be able to fully participate. I'm 600 lb, and I have a very big midsection girth, which means I can't get into many cars. I also no longer drive, which means my husband will have to bring me to and from the venue. Additionally, I wouldn't dare sit in a standard conference room chair, and I also am unable to work at a conventional setup. If a computer is on the table in front of me, I would be unable to reach it because my belly protrudes further than my arms can reach. I have a special setup at home that includes a laptop stand and tray table, which I can maneuver into a comfortable and efficient position. Finally, the evening outings present a challenge. I'm not homebound, but I do choose restaurants carefully based on layout and seating. My company has arranged a shuttle to the destinations, which will present a challenge for me since I use a scooter and also need a sliding van door setup in order to get into a vehicle. Additionally, I use mobility aids to take care of restroom hygiene, and I struggle without my bariatric toilet seat, which is elevated and has reinforced grab bars on both sides.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can navigate this with my director? I want to attend, but my life is basically built around accommodating my size. Should I request accommodations? Should I gracefully bow out of the evening activities? All thoughts are welcome here!

Munchies:
Have you spoken to HR?

Not verbally, but I put in a request for accommodations today listing my need for bariatric seating as a starting point.

Munchies:
I would have a proper conversation HR and maybe your supervisor if you feel comfortable doing so. Either way, the only way forward is getting accommodations to attend or being excused completely.

BigBallBellyGirl:
I did, and HR was helpful. The person I spoke with is reaching out to the venue to see what accomodations can be made. I also had a high level conversation with my supervisor, explaining I've developed mobility issues and other needs in the past 2 or 3 years. She was kind, and she encouraged me to be open with HR about exactly what I need to participate. I will add, we have one other team member who isn't going because of a child with a chronic health condition, so it's not unprecedented to be excused if there aren't easy solutions. I did get the feeling my supervisor, who only sees me from the shoulders up, has absolutely no idea how big I've gotten. She may be about to find out that I've gone from "fat" to "the most obese person many people will ever see in real life".


Okay late, but HR person here. What accommodations will be provided will be limited to what they/you can bring and what the hotel/restaraunts/transportation companies can provide. Many shuttles do have an emergency exit in the rear that can have a ramp attached, it will more be if the company your business booked with offers that option and if the shuttle itself either has the layout/isle space to accommodate your width. Sans that you would be looking at wheelchair accessible cabs and getting reimbursed.

Conference seating will likely have you staying on your scooter unless the hotel has options as barbaric seating typically isn't super mobile nor widely avaliable... but for trays/laptop lifts your HR should have no problem providing that.

Restaraunts either you, the organizers or your HR should call in advance regarding width required for you to move through the restaraunt/table placement/seating options. Unless it's a cramped downtown bar, you should be able to go.

Hotel room-wise a should have everything except the bariatric/lifted toilet seat. I would bring one if possible or have plans around rails you can bring as this won't be typically held in a hotel.

Please update, curious to see how they handle this in the end...
10 months

Fat accomodations for an in-person work conference

Donutgirl89:
I’m in a very similar position to you. I work remotely but occasionally have to attend in person.
I centred my discussion with HR around mobility rather than obesity. You’ll find that as long as they can accommodate your scooter (I gave the dimensions of mine) that you’ll be ok but what I found is that often I have to stay in the scooter either because I can’t always transfer in and out easily on my own, or because the seating just isn’t suitable.

My situation is maybe a bit easier because I use adult diapers most of the time anyway. But if you are driving, is it possible to take your toilet seat with you to have in your hotel room? But yes, that is an issue that came up a lot for me that without special equipment, I can’t use the restroom independently


I’m impressed by your determination - I’d probably struggle to even pick up the phone to HR if I was in that situation! I think being chilled out about your restrictions yourself is probably half the battle.

I assume these in-person work events don’t require you to stay overnight though - as presumably you need a carer/partner/nurse to help you change at the end of the day & that isn’t possible if they can’t accompany you, no?

Also, are you American originally (we rarely say restroom & diaper here)?
Or were you just using American terms because they’re more widely understood for the international audience on a site like this?
2 days
12   loading