General

Gushloader:
Idk, I'm not as active in the community as I used to be but here are some thoughts:
1. Only dating sites I ever experienced is FF and Feabie, on both there are desperate people, men desperate for women, women desperate for money, this creates a vicious circle. Solving this is not easy, unless we cut down on dating entirely and try to foster a community.
2. Message limits: I always found this stupid: do we want members to communicate or not? How many of you had someone they wanted to contact but couldn't because limits?.

Arne The Viking:
I think the problem being described here reaches far beyond this website. Over the past two decades, digital technology has fundamentally reshaped how we relate to one another online. Facebook is the archetypal example. It began as a reliable way to stay connected with friends, near and far. Now it often feels oddly hollow, with little in the way of genuine conversation beyond one or two stalwart voices in most people’s feeds.

I’m no social scientist, just an observer, but it does feel as though the surge of Web 2.0 hit its high water mark more than a decade ago and has been receding evebyr since. Much of that shift seems tied to the pull of profit, as the priorities of a handful of platforms have come to shape the tone and structure of online interaction itself.

SnM4BDSMinFL:
This. Twenty years ago this site was mostly about people trying to make connections and also had a group focused around plus sized modeling. I don't think "online feeding" was as much of a thing as buying content was since we didn't have the tools for live streaming or door dashing as we do now and sending money to strangers on the internet was far more risky. So there was always a business side, but in the wild west days of the internet, many people were trying to connect with like-minded individuals they couldn't find IRL.

Nowadays? Lots of people expect relationships to be transactional. Folks don't have hobbies, we have side hustles. Friendships have been replaced with follows. Communities are fragmented into echo chambers and filter bubbles. Quality of life is unafordable but we can pay $60 to have a stranger deliver some lukewarm hamburgers. We can talk to anyone anywhere yet we trust nobody, suspect everyone, and are more alone than ever.

This is exactly how big tech wants it too. We're no longer people on the internet, we are products for Google, Facebook, Amazon, etc. to mine for data. The early days of the internet were like the open range period, and just like that it changed forever when everything was fenced in.

I can't hate people for doing what they do here. Life is rough, money is hard to.come by, and I don't have any solutions to offer. Just kinda sad to see tech that brought the world together flipped to turn us all into isolated consumer drones.

Hiccupx:
I would say that in general people are less responsive than they were, not just here but on most sites. They seem less inclined to make connections, and many BBW dating sites and smaller sites have died as a consequence. People are more used to content and connections being delivered to them, rather than reaching out to get it.

Pearl:
I am not disagreeing about the fact that physical attraction is part of intimacy. WhT i am getting at is the lack of consistency and transparency in how people are engaging on these sites.

A large number of users don’t actually provide any clear or recent photos of themselves upfront, yet still expect others to establish attraction early on or move conversations off-platform quickly. In contrast, many people do share content or photos openly, which naturally creates an imbalance in what each person is working with at the start.

That being said it is hard to establish mutual attraction as there can’t really be mutual if only one side is visible before expectations are formed. And when that visibility only happens later, on offsite chats/text mesages, it can understandably lead to mismatched expectations.

So it’s not about being “shallow” or claiming that people cant make life long connections on here. It's about keeping expectations realistic and realizing that the shift comes from people being taken advantage of because of the inherent unbalance mentioned prior. Additionally, there’s often an expectation that access to kink-related content, attention, or conversation should be freely available, while any form of monetization is criticized as “inauthentic” or “not genuine.” That creates a contradiction where one side’s effort and boundaries are dismissed, while still expecting full access to what they provide.