Lifestyle tips

Dear Victoshka, I've read some of your posts in the forum and enjoyed them. I wish you lived closer to me because I feel having you as a friend would be very good for me and might help me make peace with food and my body, something I've never been able to do and have been struggling lately after an unexpected / accidental weight gain.

Like one of the posters above, a few years ago I was dangerously skinny after loosing half my body weight to anorexia. I had never been thin in my life before and to me it felt as exhilarating as getting fatter is to many people in the feedism community.

I've gained most of it back and I feel like a stranger in my own skin. I miss being able to see and feel my bones, which are now buried under a thick layer of fat. None of my pretty clothes fit anymore and I'm ashamed of what I've done to myself.

I've been on sick leave since May 2024 and my psychiatrist wants me to progressively go back to work soon. I'm terrified of the comments my coworkers will say, my body has changed so much since they last saw me. Thinking about this sends me into a dark spiral and I just want to stay in bed eating and sleeping all day.

I have a long way to go before I can stop feeling disgusted to embracing it. I don't know if I'll reach that point someday... I've kinda lost hope to be honest. But reading posts here has been helpful in my journey and that's why I keep coming back.

I’m 50 now but in my late 30’s i peaked at nearly 600 lbs after being in relationships with a feeder for ten years. When I met her I was 220 lbs.

I am in the 400’s now. At nearly 600 lbs i couldn’t get out of bed without help.

A friend noticed that I loved to eat, and yet, I starved myself to keep my weight down. She wanted me to eat. I told her I would not gain just 20 pounds, but something substantial. I did. I gained nearly 100 pounds. It's not an infinite number in gaining. I see I'm close to how big I want to be. When I started, I didn't know how big I would get. I think another 20 or 30 pounds is about it. I don't want to be in a situation where 20 or 30 pounds from now I'm thinking 'get bigger'. At my height and 300+ is plenty.

I wasn’t skinny but I was an average size with a fairly athletic build when I decided to gain weight. I’ve gained about 160lbs since then, nearly double my “before” size. I can honestly say I’ve never regretted it.

I chalk this up to 2 things mainly -

1) my fetish for gaining weight is intrinsic to my sexuality (proper “fatsexual” feedee here!). Denying myself the experience of gaining IRL was always an option, but I was right when I suspected I’d lead a less happy life if I chose the fantasy-only path.

2) I only gained when and how it felt right for me. I avoided getting into a feedist relationship at first because I felt I was at risk for letting an infatuation cloud my internal voice.

I won’t lie and say that I don’t experience inconveniences or discomforts because of the weight I’ve gained, but I go get to go through those moments with the absolute assurance that it’s worth it and I continue to choose to live life with those struggles because it’s still 100% a price worth paying for getting to live in such a big soft body.

If you decide to try it out make sure you’re frequently checking in with yourself as you try new things, including experiencing life in a bigger body. Be prepared to set boundaries and say no to people you may chat with or meet too - follow your gut and you’ll find your way to the path that’s right for you!

Checking in with yourself often is what I tell people who are thinking about this too. ❤️

I know your question wasn’t directed towards me, but I had to jump in to say that the process of growing from 185 to 300lbs. was incredible… there are so many new feelings and sensations and experiences to discover and explore the first time you intentionally get fatter than you’ve ever been before. That’s stayed true every time I’ve gained beyond my previous highest weight too. I know I’m nearing the maximum size I want to be (I’ve never fancied being over 400lbs.), and if I had to sum up what the entire process has been like, it’s been nothing short of orgasmic self actualisation.

10/10 would recommend to anyone who thinks they’d be a bit sad if they went their entire lives without ever experiencing getting fat on purpose.

You have the wisdom of a well fattened feedee for sure!

Love your writings btw!!

ty ❤️ I’m always learning and discovering new things tho 🤷‍♀️