General

So I’ve been drawn to the feedist ways in forever. I suppressed it most of my life resorting to the occasional browse on Dimensions and dropping into, and always eventually out of, FF periodically engaging in pretty surface level interactions with little connection. In “real life” I found a normy in my 20s and eventually got married. I’d never experienced any real life interactions related to this space.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more accepting of myself and felt it’s been damaging overall suppressing this side of me for so long. I decided the end of last year to come clean to my husband. It’s not his thing. It was a long shot to expect that. But he has been supportive in me exploring and having fun online with it.

But finding something fulfilling that can meet those needs entirely is another thing. I was lucky enough to experience a beautiful online connection through here with someone who was in a similar situation to me for a short time but unfortunately, circumstances meant it couldn’t continue in the long term. It was something rare and I don’t think I’ll be lucky enough to find it in a way that met me so well, again.

I speak to some lovely people, and have some great interactions, but at the same time this can be a really difficult space to be in frequently, between here and Feabie. Maybe I came back too soon, I don’t know. But I feel drained

I’m feeling stuck in all honesty. What is everyone’s experiences and advice? I don’t know if being in this space is serving me in the same way any more but at the same time, I don’t want to abandon it completely and go back to how things were before. I’ve seen what it can be at its best - but it’s a super high bar that is unrealistic to expect to find easily. It took me 30 years to find the first time around, after all.

Feel free to DM. I understand where you’re coming from and had a similar path myself.

What do most people do? Suffer in silence.
One day at 40 you realize you've spent almost your entire life being unhappy and unfulfilled with very little hope of ever course correcting the situation.
At least you can feel solace in knowing this is pretty much the typical situation for millennials and Gen z living in the society that's failed us.
It's called "fantasy" feeder for a reason. We have or had this fantasy of engaging with our fetish and living a sexually gratifying life. Then most of us accept whatever form of vanilla we can actually get. Then even that dries up.
We have no friends, no meaningful relationships, and not even vanilla sex. It's a level of rejection that's too personally shameful for most people to even admit or discuss openly. But from what I can tell, it's extremely common.
Maybe this sounds like a rant, but tell me I'm wrong.

We broke up. Simple as. They wanted to take the only thing that genuinely made us feel good and sentence us to a life of anhedonia. They didn't love us for being us. They viewed it as a thing to fix about us.

So we ended the relationship. Not much other choice.

Not getting in another relationship unless what we want is on the table.