General

Feel free to DM. I understand where you’re coming from and had a similar path myself.

What do most people do? Suffer in silence.
One day at 40 you realize you've spent almost your entire life being unhappy and unfulfilled with very little hope of ever course correcting the situation.
At least you can feel solace in knowing this is pretty much the typical situation for millennials and Gen z living in the society that's failed us.
It's called "fantasy" feeder for a reason. We have or had this fantasy of engaging with our fetish and living a sexually gratifying life. Then most of us accept whatever form of vanilla we can actually get. Then even that dries up.
We have no friends, no meaningful relationships, and not even vanilla sex. It's a level of rejection that's too personally shameful for most people to even admit or discuss openly. But from what I can tell, it's extremely common.
Maybe this sounds like a rant, but tell me I'm wrong.

We broke up. Simple as. They wanted to take the only thing that genuinely made us feel good and sentence us to a life of anhedonia. They didn't love us for being us. They viewed it as a thing to fix about us.

So we ended the relationship. Not much other choice.

Not getting in another relationship unless what we want is on the table.

I don't intend to contradict anything anyone has said so far, but for myself, I have felt like the possibility of finding love and kink fulfillment to be wildly rare. This might be an unpopular opinion in this space, and I understand why, but I think if you’ve found love, that’s worth holding on to. Platforms like this and Feabie make it possible to connect with people and feel like we aren’t aliens for being into what we’re into, and that’s so important. But I think it also exaggerates the possibility of having it all. There are some people who have found it all, and I admire them (envy, really) but if I’ve found love in a vanilla situation, I don’t find it worth it to throw it away and try to find that one person whose way of being a feedist matches mine. And I also don’t feel like it makes sense to leave these spaces since I’m always going to come back to try to scratch the itch. So maybe that’s being kind of trapped in terms of sexuality, but 90% of my life is happy. I hope at least that much for everyone here.

That’s just me, others may have a stronger need for feedism than I do (mine feels pretty strong for what it’s worth….but some people may need it to survive, I don’t know). So anyway, solidarity.

I am turned on by wg and my wife is not. I tease her about fattening her up all the time, but she has a very sensitive stomach and cannot eat much. She has stayed roughly the same weight over the course of a long very happy marriage even after having two kids.

So we keep it a fantasy. She points out chubby girls that I might like when we are out and about. I check my favorite sites and read wg stories, get in the mood, then go to bed and we have great sex.

The intimacy/romantic relationship aspect of this response very much resonates with me. Sexuality and body image are an important part of my life; I spent many years feeling unfulfilled in those areas with partners who either didn’t share my kink and it went unacknowledged, or outright rejected it and made their negative judgments known. The former was the best case in my experiences, and the latter was unfortunately the most common.
I believe it’s possible to find a balance between fantasy and reality. Good boundaries help, and so does being selective with where you search for a partner. I agree it reduces the overall number of people who can be a match. That has its pros and cons, I suppose.
To the OP - Wishing you all the best as you navigate this! It sounds like you are on to something when you say perhaps there are other, deeper issues outside the kink.

Very well put!

Well, I can’t say I haven’t also made those kinds of online connections. That is always a possibility when coming back here or Feabie. The temptation is strong. Hopefully you’re at least in a situation where there’s no shame involved.

Alas, I have no advice, but to say, I am a long-time sailor in the very same boat. I'm lucky insofar as I otherwise have a full and varied life, but this one vital aspect of my identity has existed outside of my relationship, and almost entirely online.

That which is rare is considered precious. We are unicorns.

Basically I have had this fat thing most of my life. Started during puberty and it has been part of my life ever since. I find anything fat related really fascinating.

Been alone this fat prererence, meaning on real life.

Always liked chubby, plump & fat women. Never been a feeder thought but I love to see woman enjoying good food & deserts.

Also soft round bellies on woman are soo sensual & sexy. Never had chance to touch or play with female bellies really. Wishing that someday it will become reality.

I have myself grown from skinny to quite fat myself. Started to enjoying my own soft belly growing bigger, softer & heavier.

Would love to find a female fa or female feeder but I know that both are rare on real life, especially female feeders are rare & ratio on female feeder to feedee is really small. Plenty of feedees available on single female feeder.

Not giving up thought. I keep my eyes open & maybe someday I will stumble on plump woman who enjoys belly play likes food but she is also Fa or even female feeder.