General

Fatgirlbelly:
Bit of a rant, because I’m exhausted with this.

Maybe it’s just me and my unique situation, but I can’t be the only fantasy feedee/fat girl who isn’t actively gaining to exist in this community? Someone who enjoys this space to be teased as they are now and not for a “potential”?

I’ve touched on this before but it’s all I’m getting at the moment, particularly on Feabie and it’s driving me nuts.

“I’d have been gutted if I’d seen you lose that weight”
“Great figure but a little too slim”
“You must have felt sexier when you were bigger”
“I wish you’d go back to that size again”
“You’d look so much better bigger”

The list goes on.

It’s the equivalent of a “normal” girl being told she’d be so much better if she was thinner and you’d be gutted if she put on any weight.

It’s so triggering for me, it’s saying “you’re not good enough” too fat for society, too thin for my kink. It’s absolutely exhausting.

Yes for those gaining it’s different. And for me in role play or something getting temporarily bigger where I would indulge in the fantasy - fine. But the incessant “you’re not enough, bigger, fatter = better and more worthy” and it’s chasing a never ending, unobtainable goal.

It’s the main reason I end up taking breaks from these spaces because it’s so exhausting never being enough.

Does anyone feel the same? Surely this isn’t exclusively to me and my situation?

GrowingLoveHandles
I hope I've never made anyone feel this way. If so, I am sorry.

To say I did not intend to hurt anyone is no excuse.

…
And yeah, in fantasy, that's okay. But I'm a real human here. I am enough, no matter what anyone says.

GrowingLoveHandles
I hope I've never made anyone feel this way. If so, I am sorry.

To say I did not intend to hurt anyone is no excuse.

…
And yeah, in fantasy, that's okay. But I'm a real human here. I am enough, no matter what anyone says.


Fatgirlbelly:
That’s partially why I’m posting this because I think the majority of the time people don’t intend to make you feel bad.

It does need some awareness tho because it happens all the time to me. It seems to be the only narrative, which also gets a bit boring honestly.

Maybe it’s because I’m a bit praise based aswell. I respond more to “look how fat you’ve gotten for me” than “get fatter for me”

But yeh you’ve said it right there. We’re humans behind all this

GrowingLoveHandles:
I really hope I don't sound prudish about this. Once I get to know someone, then this kind of talk can be great fun. A ton of fun. The playfulness of this kind of exchange can be exhilarating once I know someone.

But to just start out with this, it's creepy.

And I know, this is a fetish sure, so everyone needs to be able to enjoy themselves. But also, not hurt others.

GrowingLoveHandles:
I really hope I don't sound prudish about this. Once I get to know someone, then this kind of talk can be great fun. A ton of fun. The playfulness of this kind of exchange can be exhilarating once I know someone.

But to just start out with this, it's creepy.

And I know, this is a fetish sure, so everyone needs to be able to enjoy themselves. But also, not hurt others.

Fatgirlbelly:
For me, it’s the other way around. The more I have a connection with someone if they push that narrative of “you need to be more than you are” too much it just puts me off. Especially when it’s all about how much better I must have been 50lbs more knowing for my health, I can’t go there again - that’s upsetting for me in particular.

But ultimately it’s about balance. Like, I don’t mind the language where it calls for it in play but it being the centre of everything, especially being compared to the old/better me. I can’t relax knowing I’ll never be “good enough”.

Just have a think people about how it might come across to the people you’re talking to in their particular situations.

Fatgirlbelly:
Especially when it’s all about how much better I must have been 50lbs more knowing for my health, I can’t go there again - that’s upsetting for me in particular.