General

I (m, 20s) have always had this fetish but now that I’m actually gaining weight it sometimes feels like it’s getting too real.
In the last two years, but mostly the last year, I have semi-unintentionally gone from 190 lbs to 240. I was a little chubby before but feel properly fat now, with a prominent beer gut and moobs. My face has filled out, my legs and arms are getting thicker for the first time, I sweat more, feel more out of shape, and jiggle and bounce with every movement.Sometimes it feels like a dream come true but other times it causes a lot of anxiety and sadness.
Style is important to me and at this point I’ve outgrown most of my wardrobe. I have a few friends who work in or around the fashion industry, and while they don’t treat me differently now that I’m a little fatter, I get depressed when they invite me to parties or events and I can’t dress like I used to. I worry about my health and mobility long term. I feel more self-conscious and less confident in public. I worry that eating and gaining weight is taking over my other hobbies as now that I’m in worse shape and tire easy I’m turning down more things and stay inside more than I used to. Sometimes I find the motivation to try to lose weight, but my attempts rarely last longer than a week or two now, and the voice that tells me to lose is getting quieter.
When I’m not feeling down, I love my body. I am addicted to how soft I am and want more. My appetite is insane now, I love stuffing my face and giving into cravings without worry. My girlfriend is also into this and it feels like if I didn’t gain I’d be giving up an opportunity to explore this with her. The few times we’ve done a stuffing session it’s like nothing else. I am so close to 250, which feels like a milestone I’d always be curious about if I didn’t reach it.
I’m conflicted. On the one hand I want my old wardrobe and the confidence I had when I was a little smaller. On the other hand, the actual work of losing weight sounds miserable and I’d rather just continue to eat and drink whatever I want. I don’t know if I want to lose, maintain here, or gain a little more and just try to accept and find confidence in my larger body. This fetish is something I feel I’ll struggle with forever, so I’m not sure how to manage it. Curious to talk to anyone who has been here and has either managed to lose weight or pushed through, gotten bigger, and found happiness there. Not really looking for horny stuff but I know that’s asking a lot from a fetish forum lol. Any advice is helpful!

I feel for you! It’s really really difficult I know. I’ve had this kink all my life and have struggled with the inner turmoil of it for years. I have never intentionally gained it’s always been just a matter of circumstances. No one can tell you what you should do because only you know deep down what really makes you happy. I have lost weight and have found a happy medium between health and fatness, maybe that’s what you need to do too. Maybe discuss with your girlfriend too? You need to find where you would need to be to accept yourself fully, where the answer is usually a mental battle more than a physical one. Good luck!

Thank you!! It’s something my girlfriend and I do discuss often, I’m lucky in that she cares more about my health and wellbeing more than this kink we share. I feel a bit bad going back and forth with her about what I want from my body. I guess that is the struggle of this fetish.

That’s really good that you have that support, it makes all the difference. Maybe give yourself a goal and see how you feel. Either way. If you think the 250 will niggle at you go for it and then plan to lose in a healthy way afterwards. What I would be aware of is the bigger you go the more permanent issues you may have when you lose weight - things like stretch marks or lose skin so be aware of that if you think it may bother you. It may help with your decision to go to 250 or not

Each physical body is different, and each journey is unique. Starting off reasonably slim and fit, the first 60 pounds I gained on purpose weren't fun, to be honest. I've always been a slow eater, I struggled to push my capacity, I didn't really like the way I looked for a while (like a warped version of myself... just off, really).

Since I hit 220 pounds, a lot of things clicked. My appetite sort of exploded overnight. I'd be hungry again an hour after I ate. I'd get hungry at random times I would have never expected. And the hunger itself became less nagging and more of an absolute requirement to be satisfied. So I can eat much more now, which makes eating and stuffing more fun all around. Also, I last weighed in at 237 pounds (about where you're at), and I'm finally starting to look like a chubbier (or fat?) guy.

The important note here is that these are things I wanted. I wanted my appetite to increase. I wanted my body to fill out -- arms, thighs, back -- the whole thing (and I have a way to go, but getting there). I wanted to really *feel* the weight of my body slowing me down and introducing limitations (which, as of late, I sure am). People are noticing, and I shut them down real quick if they have anything unkind to say. Looks like I'm also a decade-ish older than OP, so there may be an advantage there in terms of feeling more self-assured and less self-conscious.

I suppose it comes down to what feels right to live with and what you want out of being heavier, if anything specific. I pushed through the tough time, and I'm finding gaining to be more fun and thrilling than ever. Each person is different, though.

You don’t necessarily have to choose between never gaining again or gaining indefinitely.

Maybe ask yourself this: if the fetish disappeared tomorrow, would you still want to keep gaining? Or is it the fetish making you overlook things that matter to you?

Whatever you decide, try to make it a conscious decision rather than just drifting because it’s easier not to resist your appetite. If you choose to stay around your current size, that’s a choice. If you choose to gain more, make sure it’s because you’ve weighed both the benefits and the costs, not because you feel like you’ve lost control.