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People with partners not into this - how have you navigated it?

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Fable6123   United States
Joined 1 year
Torchcacti:
I don't intend to contradict anything anyone has said so far, but for myself, I have felt like the possibility of finding love and kink fulfillment to be wildly rare. This might be an unpopular opinion in this space, and I understand why, but I think if you’ve found love, that’s worth holding on to. Platforms like this and Feabie make it possible to connect with people and feel like we aren’t aliens for being into what we’re into, and that’s so important. But I think it also exaggerates the possibility of having it all. There are some people who have found it all, and I admire them (envy, really) but if I’ve found love in a vanilla situation, I don’t find it worth it to throw it away and try to find that one person whose way of being a feedist matches mine. And I also don’t feel like it makes sense to leave these spaces since I’m always going to come back to try to scratch the itch. So maybe that’s being kind of trapped in terms of sexuality, but 90% of my life is happy. I hope at least that much for everyone here.


I felt very similarly in my long term relationship. If there's love there, it's worth pursuing. We, unfortunately, broke up but not necessarily because of feedism and more about value alignment and the future. It would be great to integrate kink in my future relationship, but I think I'm looking more now for bare minimum the ability to talk about it and integrate it the bedroom via fantasy or talking, even if the weight gain / feeding aspects are absent.

At the end of the day, we live our lives for ourselves. Nobody can choose for you. Thanks for your perspective Torchcacti.
1 week

People with partners not into this - how have you navigated it?

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Xx Lillith Xx   United Kingdom
Joined 1 month
Casualmunch:
Anyway, long story short, I will never date a civilian again.


Same.

I can't connect sexually, or romantically, to someone who doesn't share this. It's a core part of me and an exclusive fetish, not a kink. It's too important to me to try to ignore it and be unfulfilled in life.

My past partners have been very / extremely fat and there was no sexual or romantic connection at all. Basically, if they don't feel that desire too then it just feels flat.

Its been a big, and costly, lesson that being with a partner who isn't a feedist, is never going to work.

ETA: I never shared this with them either, but I don't see that I have to share something that they will never understand.
1 week

People with partners not into this - how have you navigated it?

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Dandem17   United States
Joined 3 years
I agree completely with the original post. It has been extremely difficult to find someone especially someone who doesn’t want money immediately
1 week

People with partners not into this - how have you navigated it?

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Flabinista   United Kingdom
Joined 1 year
I don't see that I have to share something that they will never understand.


That's the hardest thing. Feedism is impossible to understand for muggle types. Fat or thin it is impossible to get your head around the true nuance of what it means to feel what we all feel.
1 week

People with partners not into this - how have you navigated it?

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Bombur342   Germany
Joined 1 year
Xx Lillith Xx
...put it already into the best words!!

Let's add my experienced to it.

I can't connect sexually, or romantically, to someone who doesn't share this. It's a core part of me and an exclusive fetish, not a kink. It's too important to me to try to ignore it and be unfulfilled in life.
=>
It took me ages to learn this! Each relationship broke up over this one thing over time. If you try to ignore/hide it, it will break free!

My past partners have been very / extremely fat and there was no sexual or romantic connection at all. Basically, if they don't feel that desire too then it just feels flat.
=>
Absolutely confirmed!!!
I learned, fat women/men are most likely in no way connected to our world. Not a chance to built a positive connection in any way. It was a waste of time, every time!
Sad thing...

Its been a big, and costly, lesson that being with a partner who isn't a feedist, is never going to work.
=>
Absolutely confirmed!!!
Not a chance to built a positive connection in any way. It was a waste of time, every time!
Sad thing...

The bottom line..
ETA:
I never shared this with them either, but I don't see that I have to share something that they will never understand.[/quote]
Casualmunch:
Anyway, long story short, I will never date a civilian again.
=>
Absolutely confirmed!!!

Thanks to Lillith bringing the thoughts together!!!
1 week

People with partners not into this - how have you navigated it?

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Rickrode   Viet Nam
Joined 1 year
Fatgirlbelly Basket Random :
So I’ve been drawn to the feedist ways in forever. I suppressed it most of my life resorting to the occasional browse on Dimensions and dropping into, and always eventually out of, FF periodically engaging in pretty surface level interactions with little connection. In “real life” I found a normy in my 20s and eventually got married. I’d never experienced any real life interactions related to this space.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve become more accepting of myself and felt it’s been damaging overall suppressing this side of me for so long. I decided the end of last year to come clean to my husband. It’s not his thing. It was a long shot to expect that. But he has been supportive in me exploring and having fun online with it.

But finding something fulfilling that can meet those needs entirely is another thing. I was lucky enough to experience a beautiful online connection through here with someone who was in a similar situation to me for a short time but unfortunately, circumstances meant it couldn’t continue in the long term. It was something rare and I don’t think I’ll be lucky enough to find it in a way that met me so well, again.

I speak to some lovely people, and have some great interactions, but at the same time this can be a really difficult space to be in frequently, between here and Feabie. Maybe I came back too soon, I don’t know. But I feel drained

I’m feeling stuck in all honesty. What is everyone’s experiences and advice? I don’t know if being in this space is serving me in the same way any more but at the same time, I don’t want to abandon it completely and go back to how things were before. I’ve seen what it can be at its best - but it’s a super high bar that is unrealistic to expect to find easily. It took me 30 years to find the first time around, after all.


I think there’s something really meaningful about learning to accept a part of yourself that you’ve spent years suppressing. Finding a genuine connection can be difficult, especially when circumstances don’t allow it to last, but that experience can still show you what fulfillment and understanding feel like.
1 day
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