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A fat girl's journey back to health

BigBallBellyGirl:
It isn't physically easy. I was accustomed to a lifestyle of extreme stuffing, and I've been obese for my entire adult life. I gained that amount of weight through massive stuffing, pushing my limits to extremes, and gorging almost daily until I was immobilized through food intake. I loved it, in many, many ways. At my maximum, 30,000 calories wasn't enough. Then 50,000 calories wasn't enough. I was eating so much, I stretched my stomach massively; my doctors say it 12 times the size of most people's. My other internal organs were even displaced because of extreme engorgement. And giant quantities didn't feel hard at all. My body just couldn't handle the consequences, but other people's experience could be different!

Shomtingshomjuan:
Wow, this is all wild to read about. It takes a lot of strength to do what you did with gaining and eating that much, and it takes a lot of strength to do what you're doing now with losing the weight and controlling your diet. Wishing you well losing the weight and keeping it stable in the future if you don't feel like fluctuating too far from 580.

I have questions if you don't mind, your capacity and lifestyle are fascinating. The stretching your stomach through extreme stuffing must've took place over years if it became a lifestyle, were you super cognizant of your increased capacity at all times or did it just become something to notice on occasion? What did it feel like physically and mentally when you were at maximum capacity? Painful, surely, but did you also feel accomplished at having finished the amount that you did, or were you wanting to eat more even at max capacity?

Second question, you mentioned eating 300k calories in 3 days??? That sounds insane. Afaik you haven't posted talking about that but I could be wrong, so just the vague request for more details on that if you don't mind?

And last question (for now maybe), do you have a plan in place for if you want to pursue extreme stuffing in the future to not let it get this out of hand for this long? Are you going to hard limit your time/calories? Try to drop the super extreme stuff outright? Or indulge for a few days until you/your husband cuts you off? It's entirely possible you haven't planned this far ahead with regards to extreme stuffing in recovery, and that's fine as well.

Wishing you the best, you've been (and hopefully will continue to be) a wonderful presence in the community.


Hi there. Thankful for your thoughtful message and for your well wishes. At the moment, I'm not allowing myself to toy with the idea of extreme stuffing anytime soon. That's not because I don't want to... but because I DO want to, and I know with great certainty that would be a slippery slope for me. Over the past couple of years, my body has given me many warning signs. Those who have followed my posts for a while probably know I made dozens of resolutions to be more health conscious. I set dozens of cap weights. I was never able to strike a balance and live within those caps. Maybe one day, more adventures will be in the cards, but for now, I can't risk what I know would be a Pandora's box.

And you're right... I didn't document my last 3 days of stuffing, in part because I was so sated with food, I didn't have the capacity to do anything that took effort other than eat. Among many other things, I consumed 20 large pizzas over about 80 hours. As you might imagine, I haven't had pizza since! I was also incredibly drowsy and kept falling asleep. I'm very fortunate I didn't choke on anything. By that point, I had stretched my stomach out so much I didn't have any belly pain, but I did have chest pains, back pain, and swelling in my legs and hands from all the sodium. My husband, who is a hardcore feeder, tried to talk me into stopping several times. I wasn't willing, and I probably would have continued eating if it wasn't for the fall.

I definitely didn't get to this size or capacity overnight. I've been big my whole life and a stuffer since I was around 9. In my early twenties, I maintained in the mid 300s. It wasn't until after I lost weight at one point and very briefly got down to about 190 that something else kicked in. I took regaining very seriously. First, I just wanted a bigger belly and thought I would be happy around 250. Then I set the goal at 300. Then I said I would get back up to my previous size. In the process, I increased my daily capacity so much that major stuffings became easier and easier. 2 years ago, on Thanksgiving, a stuffing of around 60,000 calories immobilized me and made me feel pretty ill. 2 months ago, 60,000 calories felt fairly moderate.

I will say, I regret the impact I know this has had on my husband, who has gone out of his way to reassure me I'm not a burden. I know my medical crisis scared him, and he also went through a lot of red tape and expense to modify our home. He is truly the best person I could hope
4 days

A fat girl's journey back to health

I feel everyone one of your emotions and can relate so deeply
Take care
1 day

A fat girl's journey back to health

BigBallBellyGirl:
I've written extensively about my journey to extreme obesity (917 pounds at my highest), rapid weight gain, and inner conflict between wanting mobility and feeling driven to days-long massive stuffings.

This was an extreme year for me. I gained 360+ pounds in six months (important to keep in mind this includes serious water retention, inflammation and liver dysfunction from Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Diseasw), becoming too big to fit in a car, then too big to fit through doorways, and finally unable to walk. Ultimately, after consuming 300K calories over three days, I had an accident while trying to lift myself just enough so my husband could help with some hygiene needs. When my weight came back down on my bariatric recliner, the chair collapsed, and I fell on the floor. Because of the pressure in my abdomen, my belly button hernia ruptured and stretch marks split, leading to a medical emergency. I was extricated from my home after emergency workers removed our bay windows and taken to the hospital for surgery. The hospital experience was chaotic; medical facilities aren't built for a 900 lb body, and even bariatric equipment was insufficient. I ultimately spent a little more than a month there, finally coming home after some home modifications.

My recovery is ongoing, but I'm committed. I still am unable to get up by myself, but once I do, I can take a few steps with a walker, and I'm increasing my steps everyday. I'm also under strict medical supervision for some weight loss. In no way do I want to become thin, but it's apparent I need to get below 600 lb if I want to live more than a few years, which I do. My goal is around 580, which was my weight when I got married a couple of years ago and was still able to enjoy a honeymoon and most daily activities.

My husband has been an incredible partner, but I know this has been very very hard on him. I'm on FMLA from my job, and my full focus is recovery. He took some time off as well, but he is now back at work. A lot of caregiver strain falls on him when he's home. He has never once complained, and though he loves my obesity, he said his only goal is not to lose me.

Today, I'm around 780 lb. I've come a long way, but with relief from edema, liver, healing, and controlled calories --that kind of weight loss isn't uncommon for someone who started at my size. I'm able to travel by car now in our van, so I no longer need medical transport for my doctor's appointments. My skin has healed, and I have less body pain overall. I do struggle though, and I know that it would be very easy for me to slip back into extreme food addiction.

I'm not sharing this, by any means, to discourage anyone who is pursuing serious obesity. This is only my own story, as I have realigned my goals and prioritized staying alive and enjoying better health. I'm still very much a part of this community and still want to be quite fat. I just need to take a bit of my life back. Send up a good thought for me if you think of it!


I’m truly glad to hear that things are improving.
1 day

A fat girl's journey back to health

Its all about balance and what works for the individual, life should be enjoyed whatever the size. Great post.
17 hours
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