General

Do you run and hide?

Yes, yes i do, but thanks for the thought Dee!

I like your view, i just wish i had the coolness and style u do to carry it off

In my experience of many friendships with men, as well as many flirtations, there are some guys who are good at reading women's communication styles, but many, perhaps most, are not.

The basic principles of the articles Dee posted are right, even if some of the lines are not. I start chatting with people based on something they're doing or wearing, and it works to start a convo with me, too.

I think most other ways of getting started are nonsense. One way or another, a conversation has to start, and some simple, uncontrived beginning like 'That's a lovely scarf,' or 'I haven't had that dish here--is it any good?'

I think jumping in the deep end is the best way; I look back on things I used to do that seem very out of reach now, and while some would be inappropriate at my age, some just need for me to get back into the habit.

Ditto



And Ditto

It is so comforting to know i'm not alone. The one conclusion i've come to from my experience is that i HATE my taste in girls. I always fall for the one EVERY other guy likes and wants to talk to, anyone seen "Something About Mary"? I always fall for Mary, and that ruins any chance from the start.

I wish i could just fall for someone who wasn't so beautiful and intelligent and funny and gorgeous, but then at the same time, i'm afraid i'm gonna end up settling for someone i don't like as much anyway...

Love Stinks!

>.<

My problem is that I am completely oblivious to flirting and signals. I've spoken to girls and afterwards my friends have been like "she was sooooo into you" and I'm like "really?".

Lots of female friends and no trouble with talking to women or confidence, I just need to learn how to flirt.

I think you are all sexy.

Just wanted to say that.

o.O some how i don't think that will work...

Also, when i see a girl i like, i don't want to screw her, you know, leave that to later on in a relationship?

bah, this all sounds too hard, i'm giving up.

Why is confidence so important to women? I see it time and time again with threads and discussions similar to this one. Women can appear cute or smart or shy, or feisty or creative or quirky or geeky or glamorous or trashy or just about any style, appearance or demeanor (as long as some amount of effort has gone into it) and there will be men that lust after them. But for guys it's just confidence.

So why is a man so often required to just emphasize confidence in himself and his actions and little else? Surely a woman's libido is about more than just which guy can be the biggest confidence radiator?

In any case, is not honesty a more attractive virtue? I'd like to think it takes more strength to be honest and be yourself than it does to pretend to be all confident and macho trying to impress people. Even if you succeed with the confidence approach she's going to find out who you really are at some point.

Sorry honey, you are beautiful and you seem really cool - but that puts me right on the edge of my seat cuz you're WORTH getting nervous about. I can't pretend to be a swaggering confidence-machine unless I'm not that bothered about what happens when I talk to you. Just because I think you're so gorgeous it makes me weak at the knees to think about, doesn't mean i'm going to be any better or worse a potential boyfriend for you than a guy who marches up to you and constantly tries to put across how confident and amazing he is.

I'm not just being a naive loser, I know I'm not! Cuz I also don't understand this as a bisexual man when other guys approach me. I'm really not that bothered about how confident men are per-se. Being honest and being interesting and being fun have tenfold importance over being confident if a guy approaches me. So long as you don't have a complete and total lack of self-confidence, it isn't an issue.

I realize the tone of this post could be misconstrued as whiny, but all I'm really doing is questioning why things are this way. Or have I just gotten the wrong impression? Is advice like this mostly aimed at men who have no confidence whatsoever?