OK, so you've used words, but you say he's not accepting the words.
Actions speak louder than words, and in general especially to guys. Extra-especially if it has to do with sex. Sometimes the actions may need a few words to help clarify, but the emphasis should be on the actions, not the words. (your profile says you are in advertising--think of this as an ad campaign that needs to reach people with varying mother tongues, so the less words in the core message, the better).
You know him and yourself roughly seven bajillion times better than I do, obviously, so you'll be the one who can best tell how to communicate this to him with actions, but I'll throw out some suggestions just to get you started, but think of this like priming a brain-storming session, not as carefully thought out strategies.
- When having sex in the missionary position some time, pull him right down to lie on top of you (not so much supporting his weight on his arms), and make it very clear with body language that you are especially turned on. Afterward mention, maybe with an embarrassed expression, what a turn-on it is to feel pinned down by his weight.
- When there is some ad on explicitly showing a guy with chiseled abs, roll your eyes, snort in disgust, and change the channel, if you really need to maybe mutter "SO not appealing."
- When you are out and about with him, and you happen to see a good looking fat guy, 'lose your focus' for a moment in the conversation.
- If you cook, for some occasion when normally you two might go out, ask that you stay in and he let you cook up a real feast, and thank him for it, maybe mutter something along the lines of "Sorry, nurturing side taking over, soon I'll be like my grandma:'eat, eat!'"
- If his clothes are at all tight, and you have the spare cash, drag him out to nice store to buy some new pants (or suit, or something else quite fitted). Get him to try things on (and come out and show you), and make sure he buys something NOT tight, so it will probably be a size bigger than he normally gets (and at nice stores sizes tend to run smaller than at places like Old Navy). Once he has it, it is hemmed, etc, go out somewhere nice, insisting he wear it, saying you feel like showing him off....but once you are out murmur to him that you can't wait to get home and take it off of him (and make sure to follow up appropriately at the end of the evening.
- If he's getting too full to finish dessert, sashay around the table, crawl onto his lap, and insist on feeding some of it too him, between kisses.
- Out walking at night, or somewhere maybe a little dubious seeming, snuggle up a bit closer to him, wrap a tight arm around him, and say how being with someone bigger makes you feel safer.
- Take him out to the beach, don't let him hang out in a t-shirt, insist on applying suntan lotion to him, making little appreciative sounds while you do it, not least around his mid-section.
And note that it is not ONE thing that you do that will make the difference, it is the sum of everything.
At that, you may never convince him that he looks better with more weight on him, but you should be able to convince him that you honestly think he looks better with more weight on him. What he does about it then....only time could tell.
14 years
