Okay, I've been fascinated with weight gain for most of my adult life, but except for a couple pounds here and there I've always been very reluctant to intentionally gain. The biggest thing holding me back is the fear that it'll make it insurmountably harder to find a long term relationship. See, I've never been in a serious relationship. There's lots of reasons for that... being a lesbian TG person, being incredibly shy and quiet, being extremely kinky and fetishistic, among other things. None of these things makes it impossible to find a good relationship, but added up they do make the pool of potential partners rather small. And I know that being fat doesn't mean you'll never find someone, but it doesn't make it any easier either. The nagging worry always at the back of my mind is that the larger I grow, the less I'll appeal to anyone but FFA types. That makes the pool shrink even smaller than it already is. I'm already 36 and it makes me very unhappy to think I could be single for the rest of my life, big or small. I might find that I'd be happier in my skin if I got fatter, but I fear that it might also be cutting myself off from other avenues of happiness found by having a relationship. On the other hand, that relationship might never happen anyway, so I could just be depriving myself of something good for no good reason.
So my question is, is this all just groundless anxiety that I've built up entirely in my head, or is grounded in reality? Has anyone experienced this sort of worry? For those who have gained while single, do you find that's made it harder to find a compatible relationship? And if so, by only an insignificant amount, or was it substantially more difficult? Is it better to go ahead and gain and hope for the best, or ought I hold off until I find a relationship and see what happens then?
So my question is, is this all just groundless anxiety that I've built up entirely in my head, or is grounded in reality? Has anyone experienced this sort of worry? For those who have gained while single, do you find that's made it harder to find a compatible relationship? And if so, by only an insignificant amount, or was it substantially more difficult? Is it better to go ahead and gain and hope for the best, or ought I hold off until I find a relationship and see what happens then?
13 years