Gaining

You might try a sex addiction support group.

Or just go ahead and get fat.

Just make up your mind. Agonizing about this will just make you miserable. There's no point in gaining if you're going to be miserable about it.

I think it's fairly common to be conflicted about it. Getting fatter turns you on, but society and everything you've been taught all your life is telling you that's bad. Who wouldn't find that confusing?

I'm in the same boat - I wax and wane about putting on weight. Sometimes I enjoy it & find it sexy, other days I go on a diet and go to the gym.

At your stage, it's no big deal. You could lose weight & tone up quite quickly if you wanted to. Relax & enjoy the conflict - you'll soon find out if you don't like the feeling of being out of control, at which point you can step away from the cookies. Have fun with it

i am fat, used to be fairly thin 180lbs in 2008. I'm now 230lbs..and when i look in the mirror i find myself looking sexy..never thought of myself as sexy looking before..and i got fans..fans! on youtube who write very nice things to me about how good i look. i love it! and now i got my own pair of boobs to play with too..at first i was afraid to get fat, now i loove it and am so glad i did!