I made a trip to the hardware store today and put together an awesome funnel with a hose and a valve.
I wanted to test it out first with something not messy, so I set it up in the shower and let the shower head run into the funnel.
At first, I wanted to see how fast the water would come out of the hose, and was a bit concerned when it seemed to be gushing out pretty quickly. Still, I gave it a try, and it was the most amazing thing ever!
The water flow was fast and constant, and it was almost automatic how I could just swallow it with minimal effort. I thought it was easy to chug stuff from a bottle, but this is totally different. It's just automatic, forced on you. No need for head tilting, just in your mouth and down your throat. I feel pretty distended after a very short time. I could have gone one a little longer, but wanted to be careful to avoid water poisoning.
After, I tried it with a beer, which I think kind of topped me off for a bit. At the moment I feel really gassy and weigh 3 pounds more than I ever have.
Leaves me with a short todo list.
- Figure out some really fatty concoctions to place into the funnel.
- Find a way to stabilize the funnel. You definitely don't want any dips in the hose. Everything should be pointing down, except for maybe the last few inches to get it into your mouth. I'd like to be able to turn upside down a half gallon of chocolate milk (might need to switch out the funnel), and just let it rip... but right now there's too much risk for a spill.
10 years