I think everyone, fat-fetishist or not, has problems reconciling their sexual, physical, social, intellectual needs. It is almost impossible to find one person who will fulfill all those desires.
That's why love is so great. If you love someone you don't care about any imperfections.
If you're not in love, you make do. I've never been good at that, but a lot of people do manage.
When you're young and don't really know yourself that well, it's easy to screw it up and dump a truly wonderful person for someone who is superficially attractive.
All you can do is cut yourself some slack and try to do better in the future.
14 years
