Being in love with a BHM is complicated. I never expected it to be as complicated as it is. It's one of those things that seemed so natural to me. I've always been attracted to very large men, dating one made perfect sense.
I am dating one now, for the first time (my first several boyfriends were all slender), and at first, it was really great. He was thrilled to have a girlfriend who was actually attracted to him, and I loved how happy that made him. But the longer we're together, the more complicated it gets. He hates being fat, always has. He's on a diet now (so far, a quite successful one), and I'm proud of him. He's very big, I'm sure it isn't healthy, and the truth is, I'd like for him to be around for a very long time.
But on the other hand, I've never been more into his size than I have this last month. Sexually, it's my button, and that's a big deal. But even more than that, there's something about it that I find so warm and comforting. Maybe it's just because I associate it with him and his warmth and love (which will of course still be there long after his belly is gone, but...). Regardless, I don't want him to lose the weight, I really don't. I keep trying to tell myself that I do, for his own sake. I support his weight-loss any way I can. But when he weighs in every week, and another four pounds of that wonderful belly is gone...I feel more sad than happy.
It isn't that it's impossible to be fat and healthy. I've known a few people who pull it off quite well, but he will never be one of them. His diet is based strictly on calories, not nutrition. He's eating less, but not necessarily well (in fact, he's eating a lot worse on the diet than he was before - a lot more fast food, a lot more fat). Even if and when he does lose all the weight, he isn't necessarily going to be particularly healthy, and I think that's part of what upsets me so much. If it were all about his health, I could feel more supportive, but as it is... *sigh*
I just don't know. I want him to be healthy, and I definitely want him to be happy. He isn't happy fat, and I can understand that. It's been a huge source of grief for him his whole life, and he's finally doing something about it, and for that, I'm very proud of him.
But...
=(
Any advice?
I am dating one now, for the first time (my first several boyfriends were all slender), and at first, it was really great. He was thrilled to have a girlfriend who was actually attracted to him, and I loved how happy that made him. But the longer we're together, the more complicated it gets. He hates being fat, always has. He's on a diet now (so far, a quite successful one), and I'm proud of him. He's very big, I'm sure it isn't healthy, and the truth is, I'd like for him to be around for a very long time.
But on the other hand, I've never been more into his size than I have this last month. Sexually, it's my button, and that's a big deal. But even more than that, there's something about it that I find so warm and comforting. Maybe it's just because I associate it with him and his warmth and love (which will of course still be there long after his belly is gone, but...). Regardless, I don't want him to lose the weight, I really don't. I keep trying to tell myself that I do, for his own sake. I support his weight-loss any way I can. But when he weighs in every week, and another four pounds of that wonderful belly is gone...I feel more sad than happy.
It isn't that it's impossible to be fat and healthy. I've known a few people who pull it off quite well, but he will never be one of them. His diet is based strictly on calories, not nutrition. He's eating less, but not necessarily well (in fact, he's eating a lot worse on the diet than he was before - a lot more fast food, a lot more fat). Even if and when he does lose all the weight, he isn't necessarily going to be particularly healthy, and I think that's part of what upsets me so much. If it were all about his health, I could feel more supportive, but as it is... *sigh*
I just don't know. I want him to be healthy, and I definitely want him to be happy. He isn't happy fat, and I can understand that. It's been a huge source of grief for him his whole life, and he's finally doing something about it, and for that, I'm very proud of him.
But...
=(
Any advice?
12 years