Is this normal

Joined 17 years

As long as you live in her house, you must play by her rules. You are free to live on your own. Do you work? Perhaps she is unhappy that you are doing what you want, and she is supporting you. Perhaps you woke her up leaving to get cigarettes. Perhaps the cigarette smoke in the house bothers her. Or maybe she is unhappy about your leaving things on while you are gone and wasting her electricity.

12 years

Is this normal

OniGumo

Joined 18 years

I guess I'm lucky, cause my mom is extremely chill. Though I do occasionally get the "We're very concerned about your weight..." speech. As long as I do the chores that my parents inevitably give me when I visit home they never try to get into my personal stuff (I/e checking my phone and trying to get into my computer).

Though my father can generally get very impatient about when I'll actually get up and do whatever it is he's just told me to do. But I just kinda chalk that up to his ADHD/OCD/General Craziness.

12 years

Is this normal

Sir Saphiel

Joined 15 years

administrator

Firstly I will add, yes, her house, her rules, but that aside, I will say that these:

kingandhishorse wrote:
its the fact that she checks the messages on my phone and the things on my computer.

kingandhishorse wrote:
she also won't let me hang out past 9:00 pm on any night

- aren't particularly appropriate for a 20 year old ('normal' or not), and the former is quite inappropriate even if it is 'her house, her rules'. At least your father can see that. Until you move out, just play the game and placate her. That's all you can do.

Also I gather you've been officially diagnosed with depression, yes?

12 years

Is this normal

Sir Saphiel

Joined 15 years

administrator

rubyripples wrote:
other than keeping your mother awake

Well technically he isn't since she apparently stays up until 2am anyway.

kingandhishorse wrote:
I also do many chores around the house and drive my dad where he wants to go since he cannot do it himself.

Do you actually pay rent though? Also if you can't get them to put a lock on your door, you could try barricading the door with something instead. You might want to talk this out with your dad too.

chubbyhoney wrote:
Everyone is entitled to a bit of privacy regardless of whether they live with parents, roomates, a partner and kids etc.

This. A lack of privacy has a habit of breeding resentment which can bite the privacy-invader later...

rubyripples wrote:
Maybe she is being this strict hoping it will buck up your ideas. We're only hearing your side, and as the mother of a 21 yr old male, I can assure you her side will be a different story to yours.

... but indeed, it might also be a method for the mother to push him along on his path and to avoid coddling. With other certain now-middle-aged family members of mine I've seen both kinds of ugly results that can happen from coddling a child or pushing a child out. Parenting doesn't come naturally right to all... fingers crossed his mother has a better idea of what she's doing.

12 years

Is this normal

AskDrFeeder

Joined 15 years

chubbyhoney wrote:

kingandhishorse wrote:
I already lay in my bed naked at night and what does she do? knock knock *opens door*

Step it up a notch. Lie ON the bed naked. Sporting an erection.

Oh, and I'M creepy!

12 years

Is this normal

AskDrFeeder

Joined 15 years

chubbyhoney wrote:
Learn to take a joke

Learn to take one yourself!

12 years

Is this normal

Sir Saphiel

Joined 15 years

administrator

Maimee wrote:
How can anyone say she's trying to look out for her son when she doesn't just remove the drugs from his room, she actually gives them to her own partner for their personal use? Seriously, how can anyone say she cares? Have I missed something that makes that little detail irrelevant? The priorities/ attitudes in this thread are all over the place.

This. I'd also like to say this kind of messed-up situation is rare but... sadly it probably isn't.

So, king, you're saying that your mother took away your penis enlargement pills and the (legal) anti-congestion pills you buy to get high off and then... then your father ends up taking the penis enlargement pills himself?

12 years

Is this normal

Sir Saphiel

Joined 15 years

administrator

kingandhishorse wrote:
apparently so. all i know is that the extenze pills were dissapearing and the mucinex was dissapearing.

Okay, so they kept vanishing from your drawer. How did you find out your dad was actually taking the penis enlargement pills though?

12 years

Is this normal

Sir Saphiel

Joined 15 years

administrator

kingandhishorse wrote:
They kept dissapearing little by little. until they were gone. (I dont use them very much seeing as im a virgin. I used them out of curiosity ) maybe they are throwing them out but then shouldn't they be all gone at once not over a period of time.

Ah. Well... yes. In that case, it does... sound like your dad's been stealing the penis enlargement pills from you. *holds head and sighs*

kingandhishorse wrote:
That being said DXM can be a terrible drug and should never be abused and I am trying to quit and doing quite well.

Good. Not really a good idea to mix over-the-counter drugs with your antidepressents and the like.

kingandhishorse wrote:
I know it will take awhile to earn my mothers trust but she needs to learn that I am 20 years old and 20 year olds tend to hang out at 10 or 11 o clock at night. I don't hang out with friends very much because of this . they all get off work at night and then hang out (except for my friends who don't have jobs)

This too is correct. It's very important and healthy for someone to build their social life in part and the curfew does interfere with this - and with you suffering from clinical depression/etc to the point of attempting suicide you especially need it. Being trapped with your family won't do you any good.

kingandhishorse wrote:
I am trying to get a job, I submit applications almost every day and go to college as well as do lots of work for my elderly neighbor as she cannot do most things herself. recently she had me do spring clean up and I was paid 200$ for it. I tried to offer it to my parents but they told me to save it (which I did) I am now in the process of weeding her entire yard and mowing it every week. I'm not a lazy person I do work quite often I just don't have a real job.

Very good! You are trying well there, at least.

But... yeah, if it wasn't already a good idea for you to get out of that environment before, it is now. If it's not your mom looking through your private messages/etc and putting an absurd curfew on you, it's your dad stealing your penis-enlargement pills. It doesn't really need to be said that isn't exactly what you'd call a healthy environment at all.

12 years

Is this normal

Sir Saphiel

Joined 15 years

administrator

kingandhishorse wrote:
I have no problem with them taking my penis pills.

Well yes, it's just rather jarring that they'd come into your room and steal pills from you for their own use.

kingandhishorse wrote:
They want a compromise i'll give them one. I will stop doing all illegal drugs and dxm and I wont drink but in return I want to be able to take legal psychoactive herbs such as wild dagga, damania, ect.

Um, okay, so you're actually taking other (illegal) drugs besides the legal dxm to get high? Is that right?

12 years