Lifestyle tips

You are the doctor's customer. You tell her what to do. She does not tell you what to do.

Your experience made me really sad. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

It's just a pity she had to be so judgmental and negative in her tone when in fact... you both want the same thing. You were planning to lose (a certain amount) anyway. It's not like you were fighting with her over that (even though her reasoning that you are killing yourself might well be flawed).

I would have expected her to offer a neutral and balanced assessment, and then ask what you thought about it. Upon hearing that yes, you did intend to lose, she should then have offered you some support and encouragement.

And you're right, she sounds wholly irresponsible to be offering or promoting weight loss surgery before even finding out if you can successfully lose weight by controlling your diet. How a medical practitioner can recommend invasive surgery (when all surgery carries risks) to modify your body artificially BEFORE she has even established that it's necessary is utterly unprofessional and harmful rather than helpful.

In the UK we call that gross misconduct.

And mean.

Try to block her bullying tactics out of your head and forget her. *poof* - gone.

Maybe she has her own issues about body image which is why she reacted like she did. She should really learn not to project those onto her patients though.

Good luck with your plans.

And another thing. I hate that you went to see her about irregular periods and she makes it all about your weight.

This is what puts off fat people from going to the doctor's about serious illness.

We fear we are just going to get a lecture about our weight whenever we set foot in the surgery, whether or not that's why we've gone for a consultation.

Additionally I worry that the doctor will attribute a complaint I have to my weight rather than find out the real cause.

So far, fortunately, my worries haven't actually been based on reality though. Even when I went to the GP with sore knees, which I full well know must be exacerbated by my weight, even if it's not wholly caused by it, the doctor was completely respectful and looked at all the possible causes and referred me for scans and to an orthopaedic surgeon (all on the NHS too). Only at the end of the appointment did he mention casually that weight loss, even a small amount, might assist as well. But as he said that, he laughed and said, "but it's not easy!" patting his own stomach - bless! (Oh and for the record, the scans and ortho-lady confirmed it was the way my knee joints are constructed, and not my weight, that caused the problems. Some physio sessions solved it.)

But because I was frightened of the reaction I'd get, I'd put off going to the doctors about it for ages.

Your experience just highlights WHY we feel put off going to see medical practitioners. Did the doctor actually get around to dealing with your irregular periods problem? Would she have dealt with a thin person the same way?

It was probably said to be ignorance more than malice when white people wanted to keep separate buses/waiting rooms/schools for black people. Most discrimination is not intentionally mean. It doesn't mean it's ok. Particularly if you're the fat person on the receiving end of mindless, thoughtless treatment which is different to your thin peers every day.

I can understand a doctor assuming you want to lose weight. I can't understand the criticism or scathing attitude. The way Piggybelly described the way she touched her & spoke to her was akin to a doctor grabbing someone's big nose and going OMG LOOK AT YOUR MASSIVE HOOTER IT'S SO DISGUSTING, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GET PLASTIC SURGERY! Lol, not cool!

I agree. It was gross misconduct of the gynecologist and it's best she goes to someone who will actually treat her fairly.