What an amazing story! In fact, you should write your experiences up and put them into the story section here!
Glad that you know who you are and what you want.
xpand wrote:
Of course course I would love to continue over indulging and pigging. I didn't just enjoy overeating, I was incredibly aroused by it, but I didn't like the consequence for it, actually getting fat, as opposed to fantising about it.
In private I was very turned on by getting fat, feeling it gather around my body, burying my ripped torso in fat knowing my body was expanding a little more each day, but I didn't enjoy the real life embarrassment of my body looking so fat in front of my family and close friends (funny, but I liked female friends seeing how fat I was getting, it was in front of male friends that I felt the most embarrassment and shame) .My fat and food fetish was always a private thing, but when my body started getting fat (and so quickly) it was clear to everyone I hadnt just let myself go a little, but after years of clean eating I had given into junk food and gotten very greedy. I wasn't just embarrassed I was feeling a lot of guilt and shame over what I was doing my body, after years of enjoying having such a fit body, being so confident in it, and just giving it up and becoming just another fatty, and all over a suppressed sexual food fetish that I lost control playing around on fantasy feeder.
I didn't just lose my body, I lost the confidence that went with it, I admit to my ripped body making me feel a little superior, particularly when I'd get my top off and show it. Once I started getting fat I was becoming very self conscious about my body around particular people and it was certainly making me feel inferior around my now fitter bodied friends.
Now that I am gotten my athletic body back, I am certainly welcoming the confidence that has returned with it. I won't be giving it up again for a few donuts.
So far I've limited my stuffing sessions to once a year or less - although today happens to be one of those rare days 
