I feel the same way! There are times when I want to gorge myself, eat all day and just get as fat as I can. However, I always have this guilt about gaining weight. I have deliberately gained this past year. Only about five to eight pounds, it really feels good. I'm sure my wife notices, but she has said nothing about it to me. She is a BBW, so that may be why ("look who's calling the kettle black"
. I don't even try to suck in my belly any longer. I also wear bikini cut briefs (mens) which I enjoy, because they make me look fatter, still no comment. I think you just need to go your own way. Good Luck, Ned Fox