Extreme obesity

When or if I ever get into an actual feeding relationship with someone I would never want my feeder to feel guilty over liking my weight and wanting me to get fatter. Because those are a couple of things that I like too.

Of course preserving health as much as possible is an issue. But there are ways to make sure that you don't get too unhealthy.

Anyway, back on track, if in my hypothetical feeding relationship my feeder girlfriend was feeling guilty over feeding and fattening me I'd want her to talk to me about it. So we could work through that.

We are given but one life to live, and we should live it in joy and fullness! If both partners consent, then this kind of fattening is not something evil or something you should be ashamed of.

Rather, you are fulfilling the pleasures of you both. At the most, you could be knocking a few months or years off his life, but ask him: Would you rather live your life in joy and a bit shorter, or live a longer life and never know the joy of this kind of fattening?

Life is risky anyway. We all take risks for the pleasure -- rockclimbing, biking, hiking, swimming! Why can't overeating and gaining weight be as pleasurable -- even if it is risky?!

I am amazed that this is not more commonly discussed on FF. Aside, of course, from those "Is it ok to secretly make my gf 1000lbs without her consent?". (Yes, yes, of course that's fine.)

This is something that I think about a lot and majorly struggled with once. I've apparently been a member here now for six years, but have really only been active for the last three. I was reluctant to seek the feedee:feeder relationship, mainly due to this conflict of encouraging someone you like/love to do something that could impact on their health/lifestyle. However, this fetish is a part of me and something that's not going to go away, so I've made two basic decisions. 1)I'm not going to think about it much unless I'm actually in a relationship where it's relevant (going well, obviously). 2)I Would make absolutely clear that the feedee in a relationship is doing what he's comfortable with.

You can let your mind overplay all this stuff, but in the end of the day there are a lot of people in this world who are going to get fat. There are a few who want to get fat. If you find either of these (or perhaps someone into role play) and they do what they're comfortbale with, well eff it, you may as well be there to enjoy it too.

This is why I personally find the "online" feeder thing a bit difficult. Deciding to be fat in our society is not easy and yeah, I'd like to be able to support that person in real life if people give them shite about it. "Well, I love you, every single pound" is probably nice to hear in such circumstances.

So short answer, yep, I do!

I don't have the opportunity to put my feeding fantasies into practice since I have this thing where I keep finding guys who want a female feeder after I've already found and settled for a guy who doesn't like it. But then again I am a neurotic head case with insecurity issues so...

I dont think a feeder should ever feel guilty. If you have talked about the situation, and both parties are understanding of the risk, you should be O.K.

I know this flies in the face of human tendencies.

No regrets

If I had a feeder, I would want them to take joy in making me fatter fatter and fatter on purpose. Making sure I am stuffed everyday.

Personally, I feel guilt. For me, feederism relates directly to submission and domination (which I realize isn't the same way for everyone, some like exclusively the sensuality of fat); the disparity in fitness, the power play and the strength of one person over the weakness of the other, the near permanence of gaining weight, the humiliation due to stigma of over-eating and packing on the pounds... the list goes on and on. Obviously, I have an engrained preference of fat over muscle and bone too which can't be left out, but personally, it wouldn't be the same if there was no deviation from the balanced, equal, "vanilla" way of intimacy. I lean more dom, and because of that, sometimes I feel like the antisocial personality of the sexual world; ruthless, uncaring, harsh and cold, predatory. That's hard for the huge-hearted me to deal with- so I feel guilty. Besides that, I think it would be hard for me not to feel a pang of guilt while watching my partner breathe hard while going up stairs, while seeing the gradual shift to lethargy, while knowing that someone else's pain from stuffing themselves is partially my doing- and worse, knowing I get off on it.

Seeing someone else gain for my pleasure only (someone not inclined towards enjoying fat or over-eating, only extrinsic motivation involved) would be even harder- I would know I was enticing someone to hurt themselves for my satisfaction, which is a serious sting to my conscience. I've been dating someone now who lost 50 lbs a year ago just though self motivation and is thin and much more self-confident now than when he was heavy, so I wouldn't want to jeopardize that. Basically, I think my fetish is going to have to go on the back burner so I don't risk feeling a ton of guilt if he ever gained for me. Better him happy and me guiltless I think.

i totally agree with OP, ahots, and treadhead.

it is a constant battle between my fetish and reality/my anxiety/the part of me that hates myself. so many years of trying to deny, ignore, or turn off my fetish because being overweight is physically and emotionally difficult, because everyone i know who is overweight hates it, because it does have health risks (though not to the extent that sensationalistic media likes to portray), and because my fiance is not into the fetish, is not fat, and doesn't want to be fat. so in bed i have to pretend I'm into it, because i am too afraid to admit to him and myself that i cannot get aroused without thinking of extreme obesity and feederism. i feel guilty for not finding the love of my life sexy as he is. i feel guilty for the brief foray he took into weight gain to please me, which he hated on every level, and which he only did because his self-esteem was very low. yes, i feel guilty.

Guilt is such a funny thing- I have been on several sides of this metaphorical fence, and it's really neat to see a variety of answers from many users here as far as things that we all seem to feel concern over ( a partner's wellbeing, what our partners want, etc.); I find when I have an actual romantic attachment to someone, I have a hard time sitting by as they discuss how they might want to lose weight, or how they dislike their body, etc. - I am incredibly supportive, very caring as an individual outside of any relationship setting, and for me the dilemma becomes what I want to say, which is "No"/"You're not doing that", and what I need to say as a supportive friend who wants her partner to be happy. It's caused me a fair amount of distress in the past, but for me the gratification comes out of a sadistic paraphilia - so in essence, the exertion, physical pain, and negative consequences & daily struggling are the main components to sexual gratification for myself personally LOL.

And the nature obviously of a paraphilia is that there is either distress caused by the atypical sexual ideation due to social stigma, personal conflict, or the distress of others - to which I definitely fall into the diagnostic criteria lol. When I don't have the friendship association or, "relationship" quotient with someone I am taken with, or if they are genuinely masochistic and love all of the exact same aspects of their weight gain and subsequent suffering or difficulty as I do, I don't care at all LOL. It's a bit of a slippery slope, however - and I'm a psychosexual weirdo/total predator for the willingly defenceless lmao. But I guess I can turn it off, can't turn it off, live with it, and also do all of the above at once?

I'm rambling lol ! I'll shut up now.