Fat experiences

Quite right about no perfect solution, but that doesn't mean you can't maybe move things to a more comfortable place.

But mostly I'm posting to sympathize. I'm married to a somewhat fat foodie, who doesn't find fat erotic at all and isn't particularly fond of being fat (although at least not fussed about it enough to have ever gotten thin). Lots of stuff that would turn me on would at best leave her cold or at worst make her feel uneasy. Used to really bug me, but time and age have mellowed that significantly.

Good luck in navigating your situation.

I have a tendency to get long winded so I'll try to keep it brief.

Diabetes doesn't just happen over night. The diagnosis happens suddenly and swiftly but the causes of it are years in the making. There are numerous studies that show it is possible to be fat and healthy. The key is lifestyle and food choices.

If you are really worried about diabetes, start educating yourself on it now. If it runs in his family, he might be able to check his levels periodically. You can help monitor them now so they never get to be a problem later. My mother and grandmother had to deal with it. Its not fun. It's serious and prevention is the key. He may not have to lose weight to keep his blood sugar where it needs to be if it's monitored and adjusted now, but he may have to modify his life a bit or his diet. Exercise helps too.

If his weight is linked to a self esteem or self image issue, knowing that you like it would probably be a huge relief to him. I think you should at least let him know that you like his size and weight. I wouldn't go into the fetish part of it till down the road, and only if he adapts well to you just liking him bigger.

It's a tough spot to be in but you'll figure it out. :-) You deserve to be happy too.