Lifestyle tips

Many feedees have to be careful they don't get too fat to take care of themselves.

You obviously have to be even more careful, since you have additional responsibilities.

As far as her being bullied for having a fat father...I wouldn't worry about that too much. But of course it is possible.

The main issue is: do you overeat in front of her or hide it? Hiding requires less explanation but can be hard to pull off.

Some feedees not only overeat in front of their children but allow their children to eat all the goodies they want. Their children tend to be really fat. I think this is messed up. People should be able to get fat if they want, but it's not a decision a child can make.

Some feeedees overeat in front of their children but make it clear that "the doughnuts are only for Daddy". This is doable, but may require some kind of explanation. You may be able to lump it in with other adult behaviors (like drinking and smoking) that adults can do but children can't.

In any event, I'd figure out the narrative you're going to use and get your wife on board before gaining any serious amount of weight.

This is the question I have always wondered about. Do you keep it out in the open and eat away, or do you treat it more like being sexual.

Back to the OG poster, your daughter is 10 now. Not sure how fast you would want/try to gain at. But if you say 20lbs a year, that puts u at 400 around the time shes 18.

I chatted with a woman with the same plan when she started gaining: she was careful to eat moderately in her children's presence. But since then she's gained a lot and built up her appetite so much that she needs to stuff herself when she eats, even in front of the kids.

I often wonder how many of us are the offspring of gainers. I never have and don't plan to discuss my sexual likes and dislikes with any of my family, but I put together the fact that my grandmother gained for my grandfather.
My mom struggled some with her weight, and my grandma would tell my mom that she was too big, but my grandma was way bigger than my mom, and when my mom would call her mom out as a hypocrite, my grandma would say that my grandpa liked her this fat, the issue was that my mom was too fat to get a man, not to keep one.
What I remember as a kid about their relationship is that he loved her very much, couldn't keep his hands off her, and told her how good she looked all the time. I think that it is a good thought to consider how your eating habits influence your kids, I think your relationship with food is just as important than how much and what you eat.

One thing I've learned in life is its pretty much how you position it and what you say. Perhaps it could be a positive thing. Will you dress nicely and walk upright, with pride and confidence, or dress dumpy and slobby and act accordingly? How others see you, including her peers, will affect how much, as well as what, is said to her. If she can respond in the right way, that you're doing it on purpose to see what it's like, or because her mom enjoys a bigger guy, it should eliminate most of the ridicule and it might even open their eyes to something new and different, that being big isn't always bad, and in some cases, is even desirable. Perhaps some of those kids will discover that interest in themselves later in life and trace it back to a friend they had in school, who's dad gained weight on purpose.

If she figures out your hiding it from her, that will send a completely different message. One you may not have intended to send. If she were to end up a little chubby at some point in the future, she may feel like it's a bad thing and feel compelled to hide it too. I think keeping it out in the open and being honest with her is probably the best long term strategy. Keep it age appropriate, of course, but really, there is no reason to assume it automatically has to be a negative change for her. Heck, ask her upfront sometime, she if she has any thoughts on it. Or if you gain a little before saying anything, encourage her to speak freely and share her thoughts and feelings when the topic inevitably comes up.

I think that you can also be a perfect role model of somebody that is fat and happy with it. Don't worry about bullying, as people usually get only bullied if they seem weak to others. Sadly, it is a decrepit and pathetic human tendency to kick people when they are weak and down and can't fight back, so people with low self esteem often are the target of attacks, but if you have high self esteem, feel great about being fat, (as I have noticed from my own gaining), they will be wary and polite and be careful not to say anything untowards, because they know that I know something they don't. They are probably thinking "hmm, he is really fat, but hmm, he does not seem to have an issue with it, he seems confident and high self esteem, I don't want to mess with somebody like that"
Because making a comment to a strong person like this, they (like I would do) would just laugh out loud and say "oh yes, you might think something like that, since you don't know better!" And they do know that they really don't know what they are talking about when the berate a fat person, they are just following the crowd or what they heard in the media or whatever, they parrot something, they don't really know. I on the other hand have been thinking about fat, being fat and other being fat for over 15 years now and so I DO know what I'm talking about. But as I said before, if you come over as sure and carry your body well, stand by it, don't hide your belly or whatever, they will pick up on it and they will respect you, don't mess with you and your children will also pick up on it, they will see the powerful aspect of being fat, the taking up more space than others. And everybody knows, deep down that a fat person can just sit on them, and the would suffocate and could not move. Being large is being powerful.
And about the childeren? Well, they will just take that as natural, they will see that other children will make fun of other fat people, but will notice that their father is not in that category, that he is fat but that it is no issue and one thing that I have heard about children over and over is that they love the fluffy large posture, they see what a fat person is, that being fat is attractive, without the societal baggage that many grown ups have.

Because a feedee does not just accept being fat, the outright LOVE it and are a unwavering beacon of size acceptance.

The children might just grow up with a much more natural attitude towards fat and being fat, having no fear or anxiety about it.

Also, before somebody labels you unhealthy and you believe it yourself, go check with your doctor. If your blood pressure and your blood work is OK, then you are healthy, no matter what weight you have. It is a fallacy that you automatically have to be unhealthy because you are big.
I have had a the feeling so far with female feedees that I have had, that some of them are naturally fat, they tend to gain and that nature favours it and that this is the reason that they are healthy.

Also, I guess it matters how you gain, if you eat high quality food or low quality and eating the most atrociously bad fast food, total garbage quality, something that you can't even call food, can be an issue.

When you say "blowing myself up like this" it sounds like you've already made that decision. Might as well continue on if it makes you happy. Enjoy the journey.