General

Secret Indulgence:
I understand your hesitation. We have a lot of silent expectations put on us by Western cultures to see thin women as ideal. We may know and embrace our feeder sides when it comes to our sexuality, and be willing to experiment with it behind closed doors, but we have no intention of romantically committing ourselves to a person whom we intend to be transformed into the opposite of the ideal. For us, the divide between sexuality and romance is unfortunately very real.

Something has to give in this case. I would be a hypocrite for many reasons if I nonchalantly told you to flip society the bird and date, love, and have sexual inclinations toward the fat people. But that isn't quite your dilemma, I think. You're torn in two because the default "superior" status of thin girls is culturally ingrained in you, despite having explored your sexuality and found your desires lie elsewhere. Perhaps it is the case that our culturally inclined romantic tendencies are geared toward that which we are taught is ideal. In our case, thin girls are ideal, and thus our worthy object of romantic desire (so we are implicitly told).

I sense that you don't like feeling split, that separating romance and sexuality does not feel right to you. That is very traditional, and it is perfectly okay. You will have to work to reconcile the two in due time. As the previous poster mentioned, you could try alternative arrangements for relationships, but if you are not comfortable with that, you will simply have to face the divide within yourself and either convince your romantic side to like bigger girls, or convince your sexuality to like the thinner girls. I suspect the former is easier than the latter, but I wish you all the best and am happy to advise you more in the future. I myself face this problem and I am resolving it bit by bit as time goes on.