I'd start with the idea that there's a lot of societal pressure to deal with.
Before I got married I dated people of various sizes and have never found anyone that didn't try to adhere to some kind of published normality.
This was very evident in the early 2000 where in the peak of hip-hop popular culture "curvy"was published as favorable for a period of about 18months where my gf at the time really embraced her curves for that period but quickly fell out of love with the idea as fashion changed.
As a silver lining the most successful time I've had is with my now wife who had been about 210lbs before I met her but had over 5 years lost an obscene amount of weight and was around 110lbs when we met.
When she noted the size of a few of my ex's I was open and honest about my preferences and gradually over 7 years she has began to be more comfortable with her natural habits and body. Today she's just shy of 200lbs and seems to find herself very confident in her skin (more so than when we met), though again she still has a lot of pressure from friends and work colleagues over it.
I've noted that more people within our friend set that are of similar habits and sizes to her, the less the comments from more distant acquaintances seem to come up in conversation.
When we're in London she has a couple of friends who really like to eat and talk about food as part of the social interaction rather than generic pop culture etc. After a few outings with these friends she really embraces her impulses and that relaxation in to herself seems to extend to all aspects of her behavior from her work to our home life: she becomes charged and positive and very productive.
As a take away, and only from this one currently successful relationship I would say that tuning your social set to one with more similarities in terms of size acceptance may help you in the future, but again this is only anecdotal as all my previous relationships with larger people have not had the same success.
Before I got married I dated people of various sizes and have never found anyone that didn't try to adhere to some kind of published normality.
This was very evident in the early 2000 where in the peak of hip-hop popular culture "curvy"was published as favorable for a period of about 18months where my gf at the time really embraced her curves for that period but quickly fell out of love with the idea as fashion changed.
As a silver lining the most successful time I've had is with my now wife who had been about 210lbs before I met her but had over 5 years lost an obscene amount of weight and was around 110lbs when we met.
When she noted the size of a few of my ex's I was open and honest about my preferences and gradually over 7 years she has began to be more comfortable with her natural habits and body. Today she's just shy of 200lbs and seems to find herself very confident in her skin (more so than when we met), though again she still has a lot of pressure from friends and work colleagues over it.
I've noted that more people within our friend set that are of similar habits and sizes to her, the less the comments from more distant acquaintances seem to come up in conversation.
When we're in London she has a couple of friends who really like to eat and talk about food as part of the social interaction rather than generic pop culture etc. After a few outings with these friends she really embraces her impulses and that relaxation in to herself seems to extend to all aspects of her behavior from her work to our home life: she becomes charged and positive and very productive.
As a take away, and only from this one currently successful relationship I would say that tuning your social set to one with more similarities in terms of size acceptance may help you in the future, but again this is only anecdotal as all my previous relationships with larger people have not had the same success.
5 years