I always knew I liked fat people since I was a kid. I would see a fat person in public and my parents would tell me not to stare bc its rude not realizing I was staring because I liked the way fat looked. As I went through school I was always jealous of the fat kids in school and their parents for not being ridiculous about their food choices as my parents were. In middle school I realized I like fat girls and slowly started realizing I wanted to gain as well, however I could not gain as my parents forced me into sports and watched closely what I ate out of concern for my health, even though I was always skinny. When i moved out of my parents I began dating more girls and this caused me to start feeling shame and embarassment about my desires, as even though the girls I were with were fat as well, they told me id be gross if I got as big as i wanted to. Recently over the past year or two, I've began trying to overcome these feelings and have decided to start gaining as I realized internalizing these feelings has been a major cause of stress, depression, and self hatred for me. I made a choice to make me happy and stop hating the way I look in the mirror, and start toward becoming the person like people I see on my 600 lb life as I want to become super obese. Also, seeing the TV show my 600 lb life and the footage of their lives at the beginning with them struggling with their weight made me jealous and inspired at the same time for me to start living like that and to be able to look like they do and feel the struggles of living super obese. I'm finally on my way to happiness
4 years