Sir HugALot:
last month i drank 600ml of double cream everyday, with 1 day a week as a break for 2 weeks and didnt gain 1lb. this month ive been average 5000 a day, and yet my weight is still the same. im defiantly denying the laws of nutrition here. it makes me really depressed and frustrated
Did you ensure you didn't drop other consumption due to the cream uptake.
I say this particularly wrt carbs. You could have entered ketosis as my friends brother on keto for his epilepsy drinks loads of cream and eats steak and eggs but no carbs at all. Hasn't gained an ounce but has reduced attacks.
If not, try making a food diary to see if there are gaps. Don't assume all the calories will be absorbed if you just smash cream in one intense session.
There is a limit to what you can absorb calorie wise.
General long day long gorging works with cream added in.
For example, while actively gaining, my wife will open a pot of double cream in the am and gradually add it to each meal and snack. An example day is below:
0800:
3 egg stuffed omlette with 3/4 cup of cream (use some corn starch in the egg mix to solidify the omlette better with the high liquid content)
Wash down with latte made with half cream and half whole milk.
1130:
Strawberries/other berries, crushed meringue, sugar, cream over top
1330:
Pasta with butter cream and vegetables
Cream of vegetable soup
1530:
Slice of cake with pouring cream or hand whipped cream over the top.
Chai made with cream or same latte as breakfast
1830:
Fish pie with mash top. Fish filling made with stock white wine and cream, top is mashed potato with butter, cream, cheese. Cheese crust. Side of spinach with butter or cream. Bread. If hungry another helping of soup as an appetizer.
Ice cream
2030:
Cake slice with cream and a malty cream and milk drink.
A day like his you get through over a pint without noticing and it's in with sugar carbs and fiber and spaced out so the body had time to absorb the calories.
Using cornstarch in dishes with cream, thickens the liquid and holds the fats in well. Also having vegetable sides help keep everything moving ok.
I know it's not as decadent as filling your stomach with heavy shakes but, over a month you can really pack it on using a diet like this.
Again, watch how youre feeling, make sure your body is suited to a diet like this and your health is up to faster gaining.