General

Just ignore them or change topic, if they are closed family or friends I try to explain how I enjoy to be fat, or I will let them know it is my own life,

Yes comment from family and friends is abit though for me to cope, as I see them regularly and they may mentioned this to me alot! So I have to, but for strangers, most likely it happen once, also I donot know them, I prefer not discuss with strangers, however, if family or closed friends didn't accept my comment and despite I explained them alot they donot pay attention,I have to ignore their comment,
In general ignore these comments!

lately, i’ve simply come to a realization that anyone who throws an insult or derogatory term like that at me is simply hurt from something else in their life. i like to think what i am doing with my body is actually a symbol of how open minded i am. i mean, when someone says something hurtful towards me i know they aren’t happy with their body, while i am and was just minding my own business. in other words i know i’m happy and they aren’t. i don’t wish being unhappy upon them, but rather that they can see where i come from, and they can open their minds aswell.

It depends on whom you are referring to giving you the negative comments. I could care less what some random person thinks and says because I used to get upset when I first started this but eventually that self consciousness goes away and what comes is the excitement of people saying about how fat you have gotten. It gets better as you age because once I got near forty I stopped caring about it because you realize random folks who don't know you don't really matter

I accept that a lot of what people are saying is true. I have gained a lot of weight, 65 pounds. I do have a big belly. I do eat a lot. If I keep eating the way that I do I will get fatter.

I can't deny any of that. What I can do, is know that I'm also happy with all of these thing. My choices have made me fat and my choices are going to make me fatter.

Now that I've taken the power away from the person attempting to insult me, anything they say is just validation of what I already know.

I'm an adult. Bullys are everywhere. I'm very clear at work and my own time that I'm a big guy. Plus covid is a great excuse for all of us putting a few pounds or 30 or hopefully more. Lol. Dont let anyone put you down for their own demons they live with. Haters got to hate and most likely they are the ones who need a shrink.

Cheers all!

For me it came in stages: I’ve fantasised about growing a huge spare tyre of a belly since I was a child, but suffered with disordered eating/bulimia when I was 16-17. I was a chubby kid and never got below 150lbs though. By the time I was out of high school I had developed a “chubby girl with brains, wit, and a great personality” attitude about myself, which is now deeply entrenched in me and gives me a fuckton of confidence. I also practiced and eventually stopped any body shaming self-talk, and I try to live by the rule of never being meaner to myself than my most honest best friend would be. It’s worked out well too!

The coping strategies I use now are all based on two things I remind myself of if a nasty comment comes my way: 1. I chose to be this fat, and 2. I worked hard to grow this fat because of how much I really, truly I love it!

At the end of the day, I’m the only one who gets to live my life, and I’ve made a conscious and irreversible decision to live it exactly as I want to, and that continues to be in a fat/growing body 🙂

I hope this helps! Best of luck with your research - I’m glad academics are asking good questions of us 😋

Fat_on_the_inside:
I am not proud to say that a few comments pushed me back to the point of hating my newly fattened body. I had been 100-110 my whole adult life while dying to be huge. I finally got the courage up. I’d eat multiple bowls of cereal, doughnuts, juice, and lattes at breakfast. And as a rule I had to have a snack every hour until lunch...giant fast food meal....and then an afternoon of gobs of peanut butter, heavy cream, full-calorie root beer, shakes, cakes and candy...until I had to sleep for a few hours to let it digest...then something like half a lasagna with ranch and olive oil at dinner time followed by cake, ice cream, and wine. And then a shake before bedtime, I even woke up at 3am to have a snack and go back to sleep. I got so fat so fast...110-174 lbs in 4 months. It was such hard work. I was so happy and proud of myself. I wanted to get to 200 and see how I felt, but before I could my family intervened. All the insults...”Wow! What happened to you?!” and “Stop eating so many snacks!” and “You are getting so big!” (arms out in front as if to resemble a mountain of a belly) and “That coat makes you look so fat!” and “I really thought you were pregnant” and even “You got fat!” Instead of a hello or anything else following. I was weak, and I gave up. I wish I hadn’t because I loved getting bigger and wider. Now it’s only a fantasy.[/quote]

I am sorry your family shamed you from what you wanted to do. Your eating was amazing and the results were obvious. I hope you get to the point in life where you can do it again and reach your 200 pound goal!

Whenever I'd hear comments about my wife's size I'd straight up tell them that I love how she looks and her size. When it comes to myself I am much more self conscious. My family has always been very anti-fat. While I was chubby as a preteen. I've had health issues for most my life that has kept me underweight for the majority. But, there has been times I've been on medications that caused weight gain. While I'd still get comments about whatever little weight I gained at those times. Usually only enough to get me into a healthy normal weight. I'd mention it was because of the medications and my health is better for it. My wife recently gained quite a lot of weight because of medication too. I'm going back on some of those medications again. Which I'm gonna use as a jumping off point to also intentionally gain as much as I can on top of that. So with the medication excuse it kinda makes me feel less guilty up front about it all. But at the same time I have told family that I'm fine with being bigger. Since most my life I've been unhealthy and underweight. So while I'm an adult and can and will do whatever I want to my own body and it shouldn't be any one else's business. Growing up with such negative views on fat all around me has made the part of intentionally wanting to gain something I think is better not shared with people who don't understand. I have my more "socially acceptable" reasons and excuses for gaining weight because of the medications. Now I just can't wait for it all to happen.

The best thing for my wife' mental health was when she switched jobs. Everybody on her new team only knew her as heavy. There was none of that underlying comparison or judgement any more.

And most of the people on her new team were overweight, too. Instead of making rude comments about her lunch choice, they were inviting her out and stuffing her silly.